Archived Messages Of The Day:
01/11/09 Pans please remain with your handle in future

19/10/09 Right, any more bloody ailments like to raise their heads now while we're about it? Swine flu? C'mon then let's be avin ya

16/10/09 Preki

27/09/09 Lost myself

26/09/09 Tm to strt lng to abrvt prpr u knw - cst ctg 4 me lolz

24/09/09 Laundry rooms? Ha, not these days

19/09/09 cos every one doth hate a tourist, indeed

14/09/09 Yep - it goes on. And will.

29/08/09 But the shouting went on, and on! Goes on

20/08/09 How to disappear completely and never be found

18/08/09 'bar the shouting

17/08/09 Bloody dogs in cars, attempting to give one a heart attack...

13/08/09 Food should not be waited for (or paid for, if at all possible)

04/08/09 Kung Pao? What?

01/08/09 Powerslide

31/07/09 Nearly all over. Likely.

28/07/09 Vinegar, pepper?

26/07/09 Can rain possibly be wetter than a swimming pool? Hmmph

21/07/09 23 pence - how does one pay?

17/07/09 Why is modern news 'music' so rubbish anyway?

29/06/09 Bugger this sun thingy eh
18/06/09 Dancers=yes, humans=perhaps (ps sorry about the rather umm barren month of may!)

14/05/09 Clueless! But maybe not...

27/04/09 Doomed I tell you (oh, can anyone tell me why there are two 20th entries in the archive, or correct it? Genuinely stumped!)

25/04/09 Get me some pizza!
20/04/09 toast @9p per loaf with a blob of dodgy blue cheese, perfection at end of long day (just a shame it buggers up dinner really)
20/04/09 z in front of everything then
08/04/09 Silence, ..., still silence, but never when required
06/04/09 Aches and nothing much gained (lost) either, sigh
01/04/09 Note to self and future generations - check all pockets about person BEFORE ransacking house for 20 mintues in lack-of-key induced panic
30/03/09 Where DID that bastard hour go anyway? Thieves, the lot of 'em

29/03/09 No more cheese, no more mice
25/03/09 Smash the system?
23/03/09 flags are silly (mostly)
18/03/09 all the neighbours cried
13/02/09 T's'all stuff in disguise. Stuff being anything you want it to be
12/02/09 walkers eggy and chocolotey crisps are officially rubbish - far better the dodgy home bargains reject lines, snickers flapjacks, oh yes!
10/02/09 Talking of snow, it was surely all a hoax. What snow?
02/02/09 So, like I was saying, the January 'advent' calendar was less than exciting - barely even worth updating to be honest. Now in the next window there's some snow, ahh that's more christmassy, albeit in february
11/01/09 6 was a panda, 7 a tree, 8 a jar of curry sauce, 9 a camera battery, 10 a sambuca, and 11 is a hospital. If that's too mundane then tough, don't buy from b&m bargains next year!
06/01/09 5 was a moonkey; 6 was/is a can of worms. Can I carry this thing on with a straight face?
04/01/09 Door four is some ice to indicate it being generally a bit bloody cold... oh wait, it's January? Well it can be an unconventional calendar then? To not be ripped off / catch the sales and that? Umm
03/12/08 Door two was incidentally a massively oversalted fried rice, + door 3 is a wee polar bear (plastic of course)
01/12/08 Ah yes day one of this year's not very chocolatey advent calendar - 'tis shitty football. Sorry.
22/11/08 Spiritual guidance indeed
16/11/08 Careful about excessive pounding of water in future
31/10/08 It's haloweeeeen
27/10/08 It's not often that the MOTD will delve into such cop-out nonsense as providing links to the so-called 'blogosphere' etc etc however today shall be an exception for the impressive reason of a first post that dives right into cobb-douglas after just 13 or so lines

23/10/08 Yeah yeah, the bins are indeed... well, probably getting dirty again by now. Erm hello October! Mad for it
11/09/08 And all followed by cleaning some bins. Can it get more exciting?
10/09/08 Some scran from Lidl; neighbours on tv; spot of beer, y'know I'm all for this being an old bastard thing after all
03/09/08 Ooh look another monsoon at 6:45, what a surprise (and the call of Neighbours precludes any poncey 'sheltering')
18/08/08 Tämä on viesti päivän, normaalissa käytössä olisi jatkettiin pian ...
08/08/08 bad sub-tilts go hear
30/07/08 Faux-posh burgers, again
28/07/08 Nothing wrong with infrequency, only a reflection on real life after all! And since google seem to have trashed us... anyhow - news = new bastard penny has arrived and is defacing my desk. Bring on the welsh single currency eh?
17/07/08 Is systematically running somewhere with a bag a bit silly perchance?
06/07/08 Righty-ho, wedding check, enhanced football check, tennis etc etc check, ongoing neighbours, check, but what else?
04/06/08 Bright...screens...too...long
03/06/08 Stuff out of cans bad bad bad
30/05/08 Said complaint recipients should incidentally include myself for nearly wiping a whole month from history (as good as), poor form
22/04/08 Too many people to complain to. Streamlined complaints perhaps?
16/04/08 Too many slightly bad vegetables, and all at once
06/04/08 Come on now, that would have just been silly
01/04/08 MOTD is to be discontinued from Thursday. No, really!
17/03/08 Ah the wonderful all-purpose scourer, a nice pint of SA on the way to whoever invented that one... burnt Rogan Josh be gone!
10/03/08 Get them bandwagons rolling
05/03/08 Spicy industrial sausage snacks, good for occasions
03/03/08 Slooow progress
28/02/08 MOTD thinks it is inpolite to talk about its age now that the years may be advancing, however it would like to thank Q for the very thoughtful card. MOTD merely enjoyed a quiet drink this year but t'was enough
26/02/08 Good to see a local off, just like the old days!
21/02/08 Tip of the day - you can indeed successfully microwave a pork pie, however it is not advised to eat multiple quantities of said snack
19/02/08 Telephony services of fixed variety required please
13/02/08 Cake cake cake
09/02/08 Yep it's admin heaven, no eggs in sight
07/02/08 no burger like a free one
10/01/08 2008, properly, not 2007 this time. But having said that where's the distinction?
09/01/07 Nobby's Wasabi flavoured almonds - more tasty than they have every right to be (oh and half price at Sainsbury's)
24/12/07 Well this is it, following saturday's (early) turkey and sunday's stupidly fat candle, this totally uninspiring calendar finishes with a hamster in a cage (don't ask me? Try not going with economy next year if dissatisfied!)
21/12/07 Oh, another missed week. Oh well. It was full of excitement and joy, only it's gone. Somewhere. Anyhoo - day 21 (ooh only 3 more) is some biscuits, fairly plain but covered in nut and nut essence, mmmmmm
14/12/07 In the spirit of yet another work christmas do door 14 is an assorted box of booze, hurrah
13/12/07 and after a brief hiatus (the twelth was a boring tree) door 13 contains some boxes full of so far unused and pretty average decorations (that may have to go straight back to the loft). ps oh hell I've just realised I've been uploading blank files to this page - umm oops, it's the thought that counts!
11/12/07 Eleventh of december and it's eleven little bunnies... awwww
10/12/07 What happened to the rest of November, for that matter? Agh! Better late than never. MOTD advent calendar 2007, door #10: it's a little boy on a little donkey (use your imagination for 1-9, ps once again there are no chocolates)
08/11/07 But what happened to fireworks?
31/10/07 Does hell have an online version these days?
24/10/07 Humble pie!
19/10/07 Oh for someone to talk crap at
18/10/07 Why don't they make shoes in the shape of feet these days?
15/10/07 Mobility may be good but without a good purpose is over-rated
10/10/07 Worst. Excuse. For. Onion. Bhaji. Ever.
08/10/07 ...a very long break. A bit forced, might I add, but apologies anyhoo
10/09/07 That was...
01/09/07 Blimey, nearly back to... oh no wait 10 years too late. Sigh.
18/08/07 What are living patterns supposed to represent anyhow? Booo down with this 'time' bollocks (it's fascism in disguise)
14/08/07 If people really knew your name?
08/08/07 Goodbye a perfectly good week
02/08/07 hmm cheap tent, keeps out water, stays upright, any going?
18/07/07 Today is dedicated to the Casio HS-7 (circa. 1985)- true quality
14/07/07 How very productive
08/07/07 OK OK Enough already of the biryani
06/07/07 In the end, improvisation rules
03/07/07 Be wary of manual letter openening devices, particularly when used in non-letter-opening-related improvisation scenarios
28/06/07 OK OK the tiger is tamed etc, can we have some Neighbours back now?
21/06/07 Reduced to clear items already on special offer - exciting (but not that exciting)
16/06/07 Thought for the day: Silly students in big tents should perhaps be banned from public parks
12/06/07 Laptops, well and good but are they entertaining?
11/06/07 Intact yes, but damn the heat
07/06/07 Stupid non-radio, oh why were mornings ever invented? Something really really wrong there
06/06/07 Mousemats as a weapon? You wouldn't think so, but when there's a mission there's a mission
04/06/07 Ready to go with plan b for the castles... slowly, persistently and successfully in a non-hobbling way!
03/06/07 What's worthwhile anyway?
29/05/07 To the wilderness we go. Slow and steady
26/05/07 Harsh fridges need attacking
24/05/07 Bodies, in the morning
18/05/07 Scurrying buggers
15/05/07 A long spoon would in fact be convenient when with any dining partner one might think, satanic or otherwise
08/05/07 What's the point in just another Sunday? Tagged onto the last one?
04/05/07 That's got to be worth the 75 grand per episode surely!?
30/04/07 On the 'boro, for a final time. The Filling Station, for one final visit. For now.
25/04/07 One angry wasp now, well s'not 1000 angry wasps in August. And wasps are good people
24/04/07 A little too much pucking ice hockey!
10/04/07 A coat for a bank receipt, fair deal? What problemo!
03/04/07 Movement can only be relative, so they said. Yet standing still?
02/04/07 Ah well, it's just another thing in common with chimneys (they don't tend to be located on the inside... ha ha in fact!)
26/03/07 There will NEVER be a 'new' MOTD, and that's a promise **cue tears of relief all round**
25/03/07 The stuff, and lots of it
18/03/07 A different gravy there, and that's not said lightly
14/03/07 May one reign supreme as yer like whatever
12/03/07 Intensive walking of an upward nature requires the right kind of socks
10/03/07 The point being?
09/03/07 Mmmm 2.25p pasties, 1.5p pork pies - heaven? But too many = uh pastry hell
01/03/07 Where's the five gone goddamit
22/02/07 Try looking like yourself people
20/02/07 Horsetrucks. Would you associate them with a long since missing, presumed tragically deceased cat? Google images certainly seem to think so
14/02/07 Clearly so. In the meantime, bring on some proper football, even if in this instance bizarrely named after strange religious figures?
13/02/07 There's a horrible thought - 8th February 2000 (yep another fun year onwards missed) but consider this, does it matter any more? What was the point of all the below? Aren't Sundays still crap? In fact, is't'all Numerical Analysis Practicals in disguise?
12/02/07 No more taxis either, a big fat NO
11/02/07 Ah, good old fashioned, proper, non-wiper-destroying, rain
07/02/07 Schedules are only there to be juggled all over the shop anyhow
28/01/07 When there is little to do, just do even less
14/01/07 Wind, mud, a hint of rain, but still no cutting back in prospect, not for at least another week anyhow
10/01/07 Indeed, too much scotch egg will kill you
29/12/06 A sixth calendar year of motd may pass, but few will deny that the quality has not been top notch, perhaps a FUNNY MAN IN 2007 is needed eh?
26/12/06 Dark canals, not in my day, the good days. Booooooooo
25/12/06 Your official 2006 Winter Holiday message starts, and ends, right here - you lucky lucky people
22/12/06 Won't use guns, won't use bombs
21/12/06 Annual Christmas late night cooking (attempt) fest - keepin' it simple, real
19/12/06 Shake it up
18/12/06 Missing in action several items, phone devices, common-sense, etc.
14/12/06 This year's motd advent calendar was almost completely bypassed then - oh hell just imagine 14 chocolates eh? (And I've eaten 12 of them - if only they didn't taste like cooking chocolate)
21/11/06 Oops lots of missed action, little movement anywhere, almost appropriate
27/10/06 Faster, faster still. 10 minutes shall be beaten I say BEATEN
17/10/06 Imagine life reduced to a slow hobble, everywhere, everyday. No allure of any distant finish line left - maybe there's something philosophical there, is life for pissing up walls after all? Oh probably
12/10/06 Simple things, best stuck to. TV BE GONE
07/10/06 Ah Monday, base being some place near St Pahnney, but anywhere really since t'sall cockerneys in disguise at the end of the day...
20/09/06 Three hours at unknown speed, still the silly oldies lorries and horsetrucks were no match for the 'flame'
17/09/06 Bother, infinite hours would not be enough sometimes. Maybe there's something in that
03/09/06 Amazing how slow people can be, on so many levels
31/08/06 Selling out to the egg at last? Know your enemy, so they say
30/08/06 Oh yeah watch this get frequent as feck now I'm back on the loop, lucky feckers
20/08/06 Hours and hours of time, but no time to appreciate it
17/08/06 Get this motherfucking clutter out of my motherfucking room
13/08/06 Chicken should mean watery reconstituted chicken, not watery reconstituted chicken roll! Cheated
03/08/06 Right then, momentous stuff done with, onwards with the junk, and more junk
23/07/06 The hour cometh of the ugly decimal landmark, well party on and here's to many many more. Dorr indeed
11/07/06 ...and here comes McAuley down the wing, inch perfect centred cross to where Iyseden Christie waits in the centre... it's got to be the equaliser, but what's this... Pine has tipped it over the bar again, from what looked an impossible angle! And surely that's it, the full time whistle goes, the Stags of Mansfield that is are beaten... strains of "Sammy, Sammy Piney" clap clap "Sammy, Sammy Piney" clap clap can be heard "ringing out" from block 18. "England's number 1, England's England's number 1" albeit with his trademark 999 squad number (the traditionalists don't like that goddamit). The scene fades............ it goes on. UNFINISHED
02/07/06 Tragic tragic scenes, so so cruel. Excellent
07/06/06 'Tis a little stuffy - at least there may be water in Africa
04/06/06 Sheep, sheep, me, sheep, sheep, sheep, pony, sheep, sheep, summit, very aggresive looking sheep that needs a good sheering... you're supposed to runaway goddamit!
03/06/06 The potential joys of efficient waste disposal
01/06/06 Too much juggling goin' down
26/05/06 Farmers!
18/05/06 Rain, mountains, valleys, hypocritical reckles driving? oops!
15/05/06 Cheese with everything then please, jobs a good'n
10/05/06 From a mountain high... it's time to spread your wings and fly spread your wings and fly
09/05/06 Talk about under-selling hey
08/05/06 A grey, grim place
07/05/06 Killer lifting the FA cup! There's a tenuous link in there, in fact it's all a coded message, just for my own important reference! All shall become clear in the not-so-distant future
26/04/06 Any old car jokes welcome - sounds like a fair swap, that kind of thing
25/04/06 Duly changed. Space.
24/04/06 Location soon to change what with wooden chips and screws, physical location that is
21/04/06 Industrial chicken - tonnes of mayonnaise - was there really supposed to be any "bacon" - and all out of a bucket - and doesn't salad involve lettuce somewhere along the line - and since when does a jam doughnut look like a sausage roll and resemble a sausage roll and taste like a sausage roll - lunches are going to get better from here - indeed they can only get better
09/04/06 Ice, wind, ouch the quente
04/04/06 Ah stick to the river
02/04/06 Extra Extra, MOTD is officially coming to an end forever in 2 weeks time, special souvenir editions to co... oh wait, dangit another yearly opportunity missed
31/03/06 Combo... does that mean best not for one person? Oops
30/03/06 Some things are bad some things are mad oh to hell with them all
16/03/06 Discomfort unsurpassed, pleeeease make it stop
06/03/06 Ohhhh yeah, ice cold beer for my ice cold butt
02/03/06 Dee-fense . . . Dee-fense . . . Dee-fense . . . Dee-fense . . . Alll-riiiiiiiiigggghhhtttt
27/02/06 Cornerstone of Holty's nutritious breakfast
01/02/06 Wheeey it's stupid o' clock time
24/01/06 Hercule Poirot turns evil... very scary
20/01/06 Twenty six fun ways to start days with plenty of cold water
17/01/06 Oh, the year of the pizza. Yes.
15/01/06 Aqua, a band from Denmark, no?
13/01/06 Yeeeehaaaaa it's..
08/01/06 Just off to do another tsunami?
03/01/06 Ah the getting up thingy, yeah that
19/12/05 Smash and grab yeah, blatant dive but smash and grab you can't complain, well done to the cayo for bothering
18/12/05 Folding, rolling, folding, rolling, and it'll still turn out crap
14/12/05 Build a town out of straw, and?
12/12/05 Powerpoint slides, sliding very slowly indeed
11/12/05 And therein lay the problem... farewell from updating too. Looks like I'm back here for the time being.
12/11/05 Farewell mon amis, farewell from said table, forever!
10/11/05 Dealing with people skills!
09/11/05 Ooh lovely, don't ever let your feet blend into your socks (or something)
02/11/05 On the move, not with the sky blue army
29/10/05 Tidiness, not necessarily a good thing
25/10/05 Oh to leave this lovely place, imagine
20/10/05 Small dodgy town in Yorkshire then, via Wales, which is somehow just off the M1
19/10/05 Management is all the rage, consultant management in fact
16/10/05 Evening fry-ups
12/10/05 Another evening of library, unreserve the bastard thing
11/10/05 You know sideshow bob was right, tv is lame and should be banned, FACT
03/10/05 Chug bloody chug not enough
30/09/05 Ice hockey, huh?
27/09/05 Sheets, ghosts, ah the easy option
25/09/05 Put pepper on just about anything, it wooorrks
22/09/05 Yawn, it's all troubled
20/09/05 ...yet still updated more frequently than quinparker.com!
15/09/05 Piles of coins are dangerous
13/09/05 Old old old too old. You've got a tail
04/09/05 For a real good laugh, overdo the garlic!
02/09/05 No queen here
30/08/05 Don't you believe it
26/08/05 Apples apples get yer slightly sour apples
24/08/05 No mouse but still going strong it seems
17/08/05 I feel like chicken tonight, not only with no chicken, but not even chicken roll, lean steak mince instead
15/08/05 Old eggs, or only part of old eggs, bad either way
11/08/05 For all your future putting together a ciruclar washing line thingy needs...
08/08/05 No more (or minimal, at least) climbing for a while, at least
03/08/05 Skin is for life surely
01/08/05 Seagulls and week old litter, not a good idea, is it
26/07/05 Blood is not to be played around with
20/07/05 Should a watch really be trying to communicate with me? Do watches really get upset if semi-retired and used for alarm purposes only? Something going wrong
18/07/05 Any renewed sense of optimism
16/07/05 Mountains and council estates, where do they start and end?
12/07/05 Too much pepper and too many tortelloni, too much heat in fact
10/07/05 Mofo now mofo of the past but mofo probably still lives on
27/06/05 Just like yeah, had no chance to shine
23/06/05 Nah, it'll all go capsized or something
21/06/05 Breathe deeper..... day-dreamer
19/06/05 moo, moo, you're not coming throo
16/06/05 Feel the power of the baaaaahn
12/06/05 And we're back, back for good, and it's biiiig
06/06/05 Oh, what happened there then? Don't worry all is well and alive and kicking, and stuff. Honest
25/05/05 Ah ah fulfilling the dream, heart as big as... etc. Just give me a spinning washing machine
16/05/05 Group hugs???
14/05/05 Welcome to a temporary literal hell of being relocated (thanks to WillP) while the monitor is fooked and the laptop is also fooked. Normal service resumes as and when something gets done, complaints are most welcome
28/04/05 A preferendum?
24/04/05 Not a thing to waste time thinking about, this, but if time is of the essence then where the hell did it go?
20/04/05 That was all a bit miserable
18/04/05 Free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free
14/04/05 edam and chinese vegetables, does it work dammit?
12/04/05 Dodgy dealings somewhere
11/04/05 Aliquam arcu metus, lobortis id, mollis ut, ullamcorper sed, turpis.
09/04/05 Yeah yeah as expected no more
08/04/05 Weird frogs and big insects can be scary, even imaginary ones
06/04/05 Crumbs month wasn't being updated. Whole thing needs an airing perhaps
04/03/05 Be where? Here, that is what's scary and just wrong
03/03/05 Back, back again and merry, or maybe not
25/03/05 Is it good though, is it really that good
23/03/05 Oh debt this that, get over it
20/03/05 Not for the first time, alcohol can get on its bike for a while
19/03/05 Sell out to the egg? Not likely in practice
16/03/05 Pink indeed, how on earth could that be pink?
15/03/05 Zilch by way of livey journo type rss and stuff it seems, but has a beast been awoken? Time will tell, such is the enigmatic nature of all things here
14/03/05 Make that with pineapple, preferably
11/03/05 Organisation, are we really organised, yes or no, and... well that'll be a no then
09/03/05 Wow, a positive post about NTL (hmm since when did that ever happen?), and their new bizarrely fast connection. Or have I left the real world somewhere?
07/03/05 Two duvets might make sense in this context even
06/03/05 Bloody early buses, 40 minutes of arse-freezing-off in the night, not happy
02/03/05 And there it goes, very very entirely predictably
27/02/05 The silent treatment indeed
24/02/05 Too many "non-live" updates, thanks to my mates NTL at the moment. Sigh... it's all in the archive though
23/02/05 Time to use a particular one-way ticket?
22/02/05 Fwcin cold, cold again
21/02/05 Crafty stackrat
15/02/05 O washing machine don't go letting anyone down on the big day
13/02/05 Then the silence. It wasn't that green and there wasn't much of a forest in sight. Struggling for a single tree in fact
09/02/05 Afterwards, the tidying up, then and only then the waheeey
08/02/05 Better get this thing done before the people get really restless. Well MOTD would just like to say it's been a rollercoaster ride of a half-decade in many ways. There's been good times and better times, long and succinct. But this extra special message shall be dedicated to the promotion of the much-neglected traditional sport of dwile flonking. Look it up if confused/can be arsed. Sorry if this length isn't in the spirit of things, the alternative was a one-worder, "waheey" or something but that can be saved for the 5 years and one day birthday. Maybe.
07/02/05 Maybe there won't be one. It's the Port Talbot-Carmarthen grudge matchday after all
06/02/05 It's getting nearer, the bubbly is on ice?
02/02/05 Ah yes, antimatter. Funny, I still don't get that y'know
31/01/05 Where the fuck's my fucking train indeed. And all that for four carriages
28/01/05 Numbers, averages, minute bloody differences, all soo worthwhile
25/01/05 That was surprisingly not that depressing after all
23/01/05 That was some clanger of a headache, and for not much at all
20/01/05 Your inbox is full of ham, classic!
19/01/05 One picnic too far
16/01/05 Lakes, mud, that's mud 3 weeks out of 6. I should have spare shoes.
14/01/05 It just isn't classy
13/01/05 Oh sweet Jesus etc sleep etc
12/01/05 Fake plastic elephants. Or bloody laughing ones at the least
11/01/05 Coffee never tasted good?! Did it?
10/01/05 Just what is relevant anyhow?
09/01/05 What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fucking fucking fuck. Yep I so understand
05/01/05 Automate don't elongate
03/01/05 Hey hey, it's another year and still it goes on
23/12/04 Well on a note of coughing and spluttering that was 2004. Okaaaay.
21/12/04 Nothing wrong with bird sanctuaries and swampland
16/12/04 Turn up the pressure, bleed the radiators, so piss easy and now for warm mornings once more
14/12/04 Ah the joys of IRRITATING ringtones, mwuhaha
13/12/04 Yeah yeah it's not proving a very busy December on here I know... word of the day is "pastrami" (and is it somehow supposed to be nice? uuugh)
09/12/04 Strange happenings, I think, BLT with lots of B
06/12/04 Wet shoes eventually dry?
02/12/04 Another December, and no cheery advent calendar this year, use some imagination I suppose is what to do
29/11/04 Very not effective, errrmm
28/11/04 Life, revisited
24/11/04 Crabman eh, I thought crabs were for eating not giving to fish?
22/11/04 Bacon in droves can be good or bad
15/11/04 And do wrap up warm
11/11/04 Word for the day: dorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, a sad neglected word with zero google hits (but not for long one hopes)
09/11/04 Weird planes crashing into the sea, that can't be all good
07/11/04 Rugby, what a bunch of friendly lovely chaps ha!
04/11/04 Oh no a dead mobile, funny come to think of it
03/11/04 Nutters
31/10/04 Hot and cold, at the same time, how queer
28/10/04 The dead, apparently, know everything
27/10/04 Non-stick pans are worth using where specified
26/10/04 Dried fish I'm sure can be very nice. As is balaklava (as in that greek stuff)
25/10/04 By which I mean Bonus, downmarket and a pig
20/10/04 Yay, the far north and lots of cold. I mean seriously cold. Or is it just a downmarket frozen food specialist?
19/10/04 Flame red and shiny is more flame-like
18/10/04 Well, that is the thing. Just stay in bed next time
17/10/04 At this point I have to mention raccoons and their multifunctional bollocks
14/10/04 Weep, do some best practice and weep
13/10/04 Somehow, it still manages to not be a blog. I tell you, blogs will be nostalgic, blogs will be appearing on reality tv, blogs will be the new "all your base are belong to us" in fact and I'll be ploughing on, I watched their birth and I shall watch their death, I'll be there, I will be there.
12/10/04 Someone mentioned a phobia/allergy to life? Sounds gooooood
08/10/04 Let the wars begin, for only a brave man shalt come out alive
05/10/04 all... a... figment of imagination. All water. No here. Yep
03/10/04 Lead us not into temptation dorrrrrrrrrrrr
29/09/04 I begged and pleaded with her day after day but she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way
28/09/04 No goals, and a long way home; craigy russell, and a long way home; oh dearrrrr
27/09/04 Things I hate number 14 and two fifths... hyperactive, useless remote controls.
26/09/04 dum-dumdumdum-dum---BASTARD
22/09/04 Wednesday on wednesday? Not a chance
20/09/04 Some drink and some work
19/09/04 "Where's your gortex you bloody townie"?
18/09/04 The nothing years
12/09/04 Ah yes the NES... yeah might as well get nostalgic, nothing else left
08/09/04 Boooooooooooooo
07/09/04 Lord, sincere apologies to anyone who has to be within sound range
06/09/04 Yay, more disease. At least the 'temple won
01/09/04 Glitter man, you wHAT!
31/08/04 Derek, I am gutted
25/08/04 Now that IS a flowery diagram
23/08/04 Clean, oh so miserably clean!
20/08/04 Can I go now?! Not now, not never haaaaaaa!
18/08/04 Oww just fried one of my typing hands. Remember children, grills are hot, try not to clean the oven whilst cooking!
16/08/04 It's still rubbish, but locking it away doesn't help
11/08/04 Local football gone for another year with that, I hate football, I don't hate rain quite so much these days
09/08/04 Well they sound quieter
04/08/04 Damien Rice of course becomes uba-cool of course with perfect timing?
01/08/04 Put yer hands up, it's the pahney pint lovin criminals
29/07/04 Wet, dry, rain, wet again, then what. THEN THE FUCK WHAT?
27/07/04 Blood, sweat, and project management
25/07/04 the six in the morning desert of tranquility ahhhhhh. Heeeeeelllllllllllllllllllllloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo?!
21/07/04 Mountains no water sunshine and a little booze seem to have similar effects to bands no water sunshine and a little booze, weird no?
14/07/04 When this toy is updated by request there 'aint going to be anything exciting here OK? It's an inspiration thing!
12/07/04 Wahey cough cough wahey Iceland wonder if cough will last until then?
10/07/04 Moldovan boy bands singing in Romanian?!?!?!?! That is kinda classy
07/07/04 Grotty, I tell you, grotty
04/07/04 Jaaaaaaaaaaaahhhnnnnnn Terry
02/07/04 I don't do festivals very often. You wanna know why? It's the BANDS
29/06/04 I love mud actually, it is good
23/06/04 Everything to be wet?
21/06/04 Ha ha genuine Belgian Stella indeed, a surprising rarity
17/06/04 Good one lads, that nearly-fight was admittedly a big improvement
11/06/04 Elections should be all about geeky statistics after all
09/06/04 We've got to find the power, overcome, spikey chins are a weapon of mass destruction spikey chins are a weapon of mass destruction, spikey chins are a weapon of mass destruction
07/06/04 Scarf? ah not bloody likely
06/06/04 Woo, Holty-by-sea
05/06/04 Got no hair but we don't care?
03/06/04 Yeah well. In the bin.
02/06/04 Wow, those were amazing
01/06/04 I'm thinking, that, hmmm, no it'll all have to go
31/05/04 Point number one: There's going to be some changes around here
27/05/04 What we all need, I'm starting to think, is a project for a new Holty century
25/05/04 And so the badger-god had spoken. It was good. People liked it a lot
24/05/04 Rolo muffins are a bit too rolo-ish for pre-lunch (and made by Nestle in case you think I forgot)
23/05/04 Trains, buses not being trains, all that, hey there's something sticking in the air at Foleshill gasworks, my god!
20/05/04 Useless useless useless
19/05/04 Another semi, another defeat (ref. this time in 99 and 02), poor old hangers yet again heh?
16/05/04 Oh and I didn't mean a picnic bar
15/05/04 A picnic is never as nice if you nibble the pork pie before you spread your rug
13/05/04 What the hell have they done to the non-league?
11/05/04 Through the darkest of hours and the good one must never forget the audience. It goes on.
10/05/04 Oh right, there are no longer lots of scousers around. Strange
07/05/04 Has mynic's heed not been mentioned on here yet? Oh. That's corrected. Interesting times
05/05/04 Rapping policemen, I just can't get over that
04/05/04 Trouble is, you just can't score enough volleys for your club. Which poses major time problems.
28/04/04 I'm not trying to fool you even though I would like to I think you are really fat my gosh you're fat and don't you know that. Or something.
26/04/04 Why can't they design shoes that bloody fit?
24/04/04 Welll Forest Green and the Yorkies and all that, what a riot eh?
21/04/04 Hey I'm back. No dodgy stomachs, lost luggage or in fact fatal diseases (so far) but some very predictable shite now
31/03/04 Ah, the adventures to be had in outdoor shops
29/03/04 Silly old malarone... ahh there's another meaningless keyword for search engines to dig out!
28/03/04 Uhhh if you insist on having "cherry" gunk, be bloody careful with it!
25/03/04 Demand for crappy monitors is quite astounding, I don't know...
22/03/04 Lost, I feel totally lost
21/03/04 We don't play guitar
18/03/04 Crates, they are crap items as of today
17/03/04 Play offs my arse
16/03/04 Why is it sometimes I just give up on the proper sleep thing altogether? Browsing aerial photos of football venues just seems so more appealing at the time. Will it tomorrow? Ha!
15/03/04 OK maybe not pipes after all, something a lot more nasty and a lot more alive, *shudder*
14/03/04 Wish those bloody pipes would shut up, just shut up shut up
12/03/04 Snowed in, and how! Or not
10/03/04 Did I make a jenga-related comment last time round?
09/03/04 As of today, this product is certified free of Microbollocks infiltration right up to the point of contact with out NTL friends, hurrah
08/03/04 Too many people in suits, to be in one just makes it worse, rather be standing out in Glossop than that!
04/03/04 Ambulance and half the south wales heddlu, and it's for one old drunkard!
03/03/04 How wrong things go, I quite fancy living in a tree right now
02/03/04 Come on the real CCFC this time, you all know who I mean
01/03/04 And then it was March. Guess what, there was a leap day thingy that won't come again for another four years of drivel and I forgot to do a MOTD. Anyway, I spent some of the leap day with nine dubiously shaped ladies in some woods in Derbyshire
26/02/04 Said I'd put something here today, totally forgot what it was
25/02/04 If you can ever avoid talking at a tv screen and being talked at like one, it's possibly worth avoiding
24/02/04 XML? Wossa
23/02/04 Time, where did you disappear to?
19/02/04 Ah figuring out what the hell a virus is trying to do, funny how unimpressive they actually have to be to succeed. True intelligence is not being intelligent but recognising the unlimited nature of stupidity of others.
17/02/04 Braindead
16/02/04 Ironing board update: still leaning against the wall gathering dust. There is determination around here that it won't suffer the same long-term fate as the badminton racket
15/02/04 Men in kilts, tuesday is your day not yesterday, that belonged to Baz (and Craigy)
14/02/04 This page, first for... lies. Yep, we've been "caught lying" about, well, just about everything
13/02/04 Friday=sleep a lot but all psychological?
12/02/04 Well the new ironing board is here courtesy of Tesco's and an awkward run for the Corsa. But I haven't had time to appreciate it yet
11/02/04 For God's sake someone put a tax on cheap plastic bags, I have no will power to reuse and they are suffocating me
10/02/04 I remember, back in the days of biking around Leamington and going to school and stuff, asking the HE teacher "just what is a saveloy" having seen said exotic-sounding item on a local chippy price list. Who could've know that 12 years on I'd have 6 of the things sitting in front of me with the question still unhappily plaguing my mind?!?
08/02/04 Trains, dysfunctional arms, amusingly shitty towns and basic trig. Note addition for later edition at 23:42 after reading quin's page (I don't do this kind of thing lightly!) Happy 4th birthday to this concept. 4 years, 4 bloody years I've been wasting my time on this. How many person-hours must that equate to, especially on those oh-so-common days completely lacking in inspiration? Well that's it. 4 years is 4 years too many and this shall be the last. Nah just kidding, here's to 4 more years of crap!
04/02/04 Nuts? Bloody hell I thought it was an ironic piss-take thingy. Which marketing type really really thought that was going to work?
03/02/04 Proud Posh or Cobblers, Oysters or anyone. Oysters. Grrrrrooooooaaaaannnnnnn, some things never change
01/02/04 Ah, February, and more enjoyable weather to come
29/01/04 Oh and why did Mr Hutton have to blabber on right into the start of and out of the end of Neighbours? On my bleedin' video tape?
28/01/04 Why no snow? Why why why. Miserable.
27/01/04 I'm dazed and confused get me out of here
26/01/04 If you ever find yourself in Southern Spain, do visit the enchanted city, it's really like a city, and, errrm enchanted (chortle chortle)
24/01/04 Cheer up football museum dudes. Oh and c'mon the 'wandans(?)
23/01/04 Ooh unexpected pins in arms
22/01/04 Ouch, sunburn, in January. Dry, dry, dry, almost desert-like and then kaboooooom it's Wales
15/01/04 Great from Canley airport to the other side of the world (kind of), now to sort out all them diseases
13/01/04 Hey yargh
12/01/04 Seeya George it's been fun
11/01/04 Oh look it's a bicycle made for two. What could that be hinting at?
10/01/04 Ahh, sparsely populated 2-sided athletics grounds of our time
09/01/04 can't decide which is worse, internet shopping around or shopping shopping around. Just send me to hell instead please
08/01/04 Oh err ahem. So no one noticed I had the dates completely wrong for the first two 2004 entries. Just for authenticity I'm keeping them that way, and this entry can be a permanent record that they were in fact yesterday and the day before yesterday and not way back in December 03 as stated..
07/12/03 Shropshire. Famous for Shropshire Rabbit Pie, Victorian crime, conference football and the spiritual home of the animal feed industry. For more about selected items from this list, see the latest link to take its place in the list beneath.
06/12/03 I'll be back, he said, I'll be back, with my little biryani I'll be back. Or as Danbert thingy out of Chumbawamba said...
24/12/03 Well we have reached the pinnacle... it's creaking... it's open! Well, frankly I think if you can't picture what's behind that door you are lacking some imagination. OK, I'll give you a slight hint: >; - ) > So there we have it, after that tiresome marathon this page needs a break and that's probably going to have to be it until early 2004, so merry c-blah blah blah. Seeya, wouldn't wanna beeya
23/12/03 one lonely pill of prozac (this one won't last too long, final door opening just after midnight. Ooooooooh the tension!)
22/12/03 A jar of pickled beetroot. Sorry if not that festive but there you go, that's what's there
21/12/03 Did I mention there definitely AREN'T any textual chocolates here? This calendar hails from an era when people appreciated the sheer surprise factor at play. Right, twenty one and we're getting close, it's loads and loads of miserable shoppers. And behind them you can just make out those poor miserable forgotten shop staff who no one sympathises with, not only listening to jolly jingles, but with no immediate prospect of going and jumping in a nearby river to get away from it all like the rest of us.
20/12/03 nineteen I can barely remember opening, but there is a dubious substance behind the door. Twenty is a sheep, though not accompanied by the usual stable and manger. God I'm glad there's only a few more of these to do!
18/12/03 Yep, by popular (well kind of) demand, behind the 18th door is a traditional American homemade Christmas Mincemeat Muffin (imported all the way from India!)
17/12/03 Door number 17 and there's only one real option, yep that's right you can't see a bleedin' thing cos of all the fog eminating from that window
16/12/03 It's a quaint looking English border town they stole from the Welsh
15/12/03 Food, loads of it, including waaaay too much chocolate
14/12/03 12 spikey tree, 13 reindeer, 14 a kipper tie. Not getting boring this at all is it?
11/12/03 Day number eleven, and running out of ideas already. Shit. Oh no wait, ah yes it's a pile of just over 300 policy documents, hurrah to that!
10/12/03 OK it's 6-10 then (sigh...) six: boring white christmas lights, seven: a golf course, eight: something that is too bad taste for me to go into I'm afraid, nine: some petrol, ten: a chilli pepper. Let's hope it's de-seeded
05/12/03 Door five is a nice new pair of socks. Think you may now have to wait until Tuesday for door's 6-9 in one bumper session
04/12/03 For the record, door three was an 'orrible bug jumping out of you, and now door four is a lovely ad-hoc decoration made entirely out of twisted paper clips
02/12/03 Door number two, and it's incessant Metallica (interspersed with Celine Dion and Michael Bolton) blaring out at you!
01/12/03 MOTD "descriptive" advent calendar dorr number one and.... it's a snowman!!!
26/11/03 Well thanks to NTL muppets, yesterday's motd was the first one that never was. It's a disgrace
25/11/03 Don't let the "bells end" indeed! Nice one, shame it's a bit crap really
23/11/03 Typical English, trying to hide their failure with objects that come out of hens! Laughable
20/11/03 No I just thought it would be a laugh, and here's your sign
19/11/03 Well there's always the world cup one supposes. Yah yah mickey mouse tournament this other one anyway
18/11/03 Nothing against Scotch Pies, but they aren't really football pies huh?
13/11/03 Hurrah praise the lord, semi-dry washing!
11/11/03 You can shove your minu.... oh feck it I can't be arsed. Just imagine 4 hours in one seat with nowhere to move or hide. Like that train journey to Darlo in fact, only a journey to nowhere
10/11/03 Dire
07/11/03 Oh shut up you tarts it's getting boring now
05/11/03 Ka-booooooooooooooooom
04/11/03 Supporting Manchester United? Uhhhh but there are those times in life...
03/11/03 You wouldn't have *really* thought that beer and raspberries mixed that well would you? And you know they don't, they really really don't. Stupid Belgians, lacking anything else to be famous for I don't doubt
02/11/03 I had a strange dream last night of a future domesday scenario. Things had got such that there existed a 3 sided football arena surrounded by muddy fields and more muddy fields and little else. So you understand my comfort at the return to good old real life and its tuna and its curry powder
31/10/03 Right, bring on the poncey student lot!
30/10/03 Who're all these funny people doing cartwheels all over the place? Dorr, fickle lot!
28/10/03 Tuesday, wet, nasty nasty cough and the bin's not even been put out yet
27/10/03 How to defend a concrete jungle? Well just try surviving in a real jungle huh, bet the luvverly exotic factor wouldn't last long
23/10/03 Shhh, No-one mention anything about any Continental *cough* star
22/10/03 How the hell is it possible I have no time? A total joke. To start cooking at 2115 is sure sign of a problematic mind
20/10/03 D'you always behave like that you *farmer*???
19/10/03 What? Folk and soul? A travesty, simply
17/10/03 Ahh the joy's of locating a non-thugby public house in Berkshire, cannot wait
16/10/03 Kitchen Floor... must clean... oh why do I fool myself I can't even bleedin' wash up. Oh and why's it so bloody coldski
14/10/03 well I was nearly right. Only a bit more communist. Timeski toski addski skiski ontoski everyski wordski nowski Iski thinkski. Bloodyski stupidski visaski regulationsski veryski annoyingski
12/10/03 Castell Coch indeed... oh my tip for tomorrow is Slovenia (who else)
11/10/03 C'mon Turks, 'baijans and the like
10/10/03 Bar 66, the place to be seen now with the joy of tv. As opposed to Diner 66 and it's copious chips and mayonnaise
08/10/03 I agree, stick up for principle against those old suits and pull out! You'd only have been stuffed anyway
07/10/03 What's it like to what's it like to what's it like to be upskilled
05/10/03 Cucumber soup, that's a new one
03/10/03 End of the three mug challenge nigh?
02/10/03 October. Ahh tis time to be grim and merry and to start thinking of "oh no not fucking christmas again"
27/09/03 Once of a day if you wanted a meal you prepared and slowly created a dish, and it felt rewarding, it took time but was worth it. Now some faceless person sorts your meal out in a factory and because you cannot wait you have to have it in three minutes you are so busy, but it is a novelty, a thing you have no respect for a thing you cannot be proud of because you have pressed a button thats all, then you sit down and watch tele. That is the freak show a quick fix that has nothing to do with trial and error, preparation, skill, time, passion, knowledge tips etc, just pressing a button. MK sums up our want it now society, valueless, instantly forgettable, no loyalty fad driven. Heres the next fad bye bye microwaves bye bye MK.
26/09/03 Bit 'Arry Potter that innit
24/09/03 What everyone really needs is a comedy duo
23/09/03 Ah, well I should say something about Blaine, since everyone's talking about him? Well actually I think he's great (just to buck the trend like)
16/09/03 You jack bastards?!
14/09/03 Weird... I can hear the ghastly tones of that guy out of Travis flowing into my kitchen... "The grass is always greener on the other siide blah blah", surely this counts as noise pollution? (I mean it really is him as well, tis the stupid radio 1 event over in the park)
12/09/03 Aanprept gekey fcat for Sbeepetmr 1t2h... did you konw taht aaetplprny it rlelay don'set mtaetr a jot how you slepl wdors so lnog as you get the rihgt nbuemr of leertts and cercort poonsitis on the frsit and lsat? Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by itslef but the wrod as a wlohe. Not srue I beevlie it paeolrslny
11/09/03 Well that was a bit stupid also
09/09/03 Mmm, bottles, urine, phlegm. What a bloody laff!
05/09/03 How did it get so quiet? Guess I must be, ummm, busy!!! Yerright. Well this is going to be one interesting adventure, as long as I escape the dreaded carbonari...
21/08/03 Alright which joker left a burger carton on my car?
19/08/03 Dusty seats, oooo-ooh yeah, dusty seats
14/08/03 Oh yeah, the arena is awaiting my company
13/08/03 Oh so quiet, and not remotely so hot
09/08/03 Sigh, I better not publish anything controversial, yaknow respect for the dead etc etc but FOR FUCK'S SAKE I DON'T FUCKING BELIEVE IT WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU UP THERE ARE YOU FUCKING TAKING THE PISS OR WHAT???!!! A day of my life (and some cash on top). Gone. Zip. Just like that. Oh, did I mention the evil heat and the jokes of trains? And middle lane huggers?
08/08/03 Football. I'm sure I said something along the lines of "oh, football" last year actually. So yeah, oh, football, really looking forward to it, and I know that's not gonna last.
05/08/03 Oh and don't even think of trying to backdate the dang thing, I'll shout...
03/08/03 Ah August, time for a tv again I think, and a few less 5am finishes in the near future could be good
30/07/03 Don't go hoping for a miracle
28/07/03 Blooming leeks, they may be the national vegetable but they're really not very nice. And I've had to go almost into living-outof-suitcase mode
26/07/03 Is it cause for concern when some tiny insect appears to be crawling around on the inside of my screen? Or some abstract virus? Or just freak-ayyyy?
24/07/03 Drip drip yeah finally something goes horribly wrong, if only I had the energy to handle it... ps piss off royal shows, royal anything in fact piss off
20/07/03 Kicked out of Burger King... twice. No more mr nice burgery
16/07/03 Heat, whirring fans distributing more heat, and now bloody rain. And heat.
13/07/03 Ah good old Royal Axminster, good to see the spirit is still alive somewhere! And did we just witness fluff II? (sorry)
10/07/03 Uh how can a wood be so.... hot?
08/07/03 "The plantation years ended with the arrival of the U.S. military construction." If only all history was this simple
07/07/03 Oh, I haven't got round to changing anything round here yet have I? Sorry! Still, July's looking a bit empty in places so...
06/07/03 Funny think I could've died
03/07/03 Sorry if I talk funny
02/07/03 Let the great lasagne experiment commence here, now
30/06/03 Wow a year ago today I moved away from home, got on the train and went to burgery k. A year later what've I got to show except an ongoing bloody dust allergy?
29/06/03 Popcorn for breakfast... add to list of no-nos for future
27/06/03 now tell me doo-yah....... a-dooyah have any maneh....... I wanna spend all ya maneh.....
26/06/03 Give me some bloody air. Or chillout will last forever
25/06/03 Well there went June! Just struck me in slightly-induced haze that I didn't rush to start updating again, d'uh who am I? I'm finding work hard enough to come to terms with right now, whatever happened to chillout hour?
04/06/03 A final farewell if some are to be believed... safer to say don't expect to hear much for a couple of weeks, auf wiedersien fools
02/06/03 Hmm, being prepared, just doesn't go well, organisation pah
29/05/03 Answer the phone, I'm not here. God that was scary
28/05/03 Right two months of non-football motds probably, and to think I just slept through a rather dull end to it all
24/05/03 C'mon stuff them cockneys
21/05/03 Right that's gotta be long enough... so after a grand total of {anticipation, tumbleweed} 2 votes (including 1 who couldn't be arsed to do it properly so said it over the phone), the verdict is change it by 2 votes to nil. The downer is I apparently have to move house first to truly shake of mag street. Nah OK I'll do it next time I have a moment or 2, right now I'm busy cooking the burgers I should've had at work for lunch but proved non-microwavable, thus making me look like a right tit basically
17/05/03 Okay, here's a really original idea! I've been thinking recently of getting rid of some of the content on this page ie the pine posse et al and references to Durham and maybe changing the colour. But it could be argued that that could remove the "personality". So here's the deal, in the absence of any skills in online polls or personality tests. Will all regulars please go to google, and to vote for change type "change it ya stupid arian kebab liker" and click the ensuing link to archived motds, alternatively if you like it as it is type "dorrrrrrr just leave it, twat!", and click the link. One person one vote, cheaters will be pursued and prosecuted. Results will be published once the statistics have been counted and independently verified. Happy voting!
16/05/03 Bring it on! But what about other problems, like some of these flippin Fridays?
14/05/03 Isn't all this a bit self-indulgent in a way?
11/05/03 The sea the cliffes where the rain?
07/05/03 Well I got some crumbled concrete anyway
02/05/03 I'll have that bit of hallowed turf... you'll see... in a jar...
01/05/03 Independence!
29/04/03 Free booze and vinegry octupus and squid all very well, but probably better not the night before long meetings
27/04/03 Harsh lessons learnt, this time I didn't get wet. Lovely day for football wasn't it mr pine?
25/04/03 Eee got meee ciiiderrrrr ee got meee ciddderrrrr blah dee blah dee dee blah bloody bumpkins
23/04/03 Not updating this very often am I? Is anyone still out there? Well that was Easter then. Staying up. Vow never to go in the wrong end again since I'm supersticious now. Did I even spell that correctly?
15/04/03 Uh what a week, why the sudden trend of leaving stuff until morning? Why none of this? Time for a staying up party soon? Ahh now I'm more at home!
08/04/03 Nights sitting up in motion are not good and tend to start to buggeringly catch up with one in time
06/04/03 Ah the sweet smell of the glwad... little to say, other than I've never appreciated tonnes of water choosing to descend on me
30/03/03 Ack, did you really have to do that mr quente? This feels like those bloody impressons all over again! Still this'll likely be unchanged until LDV final day now as I mix with some of 'em continental types
29/03/03 Oh I just don't have the energy half the time this day and age. Next stop Ljubljana please?
26/03/03 Dyn ni ddim yn mynd a bloody Serbia? Dwi ddim yn hoffi those twats yn UEFA
23/03/03 In and ideal world, there would be a blinkin' letter box. Jesus what a pain in the arse this is becoming
19/03/03 Stuff it!
16/03/03 At least if you shop and don't buy anything you don't spend money. Hmm. And what is the point of having fitting rooms if you bloody lock them?
13/03/03 Ah nothing like a good bloody assasination to get in the way
11/03/03 "It's shagged". And there flew away my nice machine
09/03/03 Ah yes. Moshpits, fences, bloody brambles. That's kinda more like it
06/03/03 Time for major bright-side findings, er Julian?
04/03/03 "You look knackered"
03/03/03 Ah yes, 030303 indeed, err happy birthday to wobbly b and sorry for this silly pattern of updates occuring at the start of the week that's emerging, think it's an en-er-gy levels thing
27/02/03 Why can't people all smile and take nothing so dang seriously
25/02/03 What the freak zigackly?
23/02/03 All we are saying is give us a goal?
17/02/03 How much is tidying really worth it when yer fundamentally a clean living god-fearing citizen
14/02/03 Ah yes, this day in 1998, guess that makes it 5 years of post-brummie-massacre-ness. Fat lot it's done in the long term
13/02/03 Oh look lots of lovely statistics
12/02/03 Ah, nothing like a day of total nothing-related laziness as a pick-me-up. Now to see Big Mo hack 'em up nicely
10/02/03 Hello! Uhhh I'm a bit under right now, and my finger's lookin' straight at that dang hospital. Tip of the day, keep away from bloody hospitals (where possible, disclaimer: this page, its publishers and associates shall accept no liability for any non-hospital related accident that may occur as a result of any advice dispensed herein, any resemblance of any character to real individuals is purely coincidental)
04/02/03 Ooh it's cold late and tired. Yes I do mean it. Oh, a warm welcome to the nation of Serbia then, seeya soon
03/02/03 Oh that familiar feeling. Haven't I been here before? dumdeedum die before I'm saved, dancefloors on my graves oh why why why. Overheated washing machines.
02/02/03 Ah ambulances, brings back some memories I say!
31/01/03 Wot snow? Ooh that's a month departed already oh fook it death confronts us all
30/01/03 Splott! Ah yes splott the town of umm kings if you were oh to be the king of splott
27/01/03 Stomp stomp. Stomp. Crash. Stomp. Clatter.
26/01/03 Well I missed out on that blue oop the dale scarf in the end, probably a good thing, let sleeping debacles lie
22/01/03 Sorry 'bout this (ny bogus revolutions considered n'all), but SHIT! Once again it seems Rochdale is to be dragged kicking and screaming away from me
20/01/03 Random selections, but not that random, is the big problem today
18/01/03 The weekend of nuffink finally arrives, boy is it really worth it
16/01/03 Yay boyos in yer place
14/01/03 Dw i'n byw yng Nghaerdydd! Ugh, well they call it nasal mutation and it indeed fits whatever image that may plant in your head
12/01/03 Waaay the English riviera! Well it's a bit on the cold side for one of those if you ask me
10/01/03 Why buy a dodgy kebab when yer pretty much full-up of-it anywayz? Ah my old friend the tv is beckoning once more
09/01/03 Wezziz snow then?
08/01/03 Go forth and capture [that data]
06/01/03 Oh it's all so beautifully back to friggin normal, man. Bring on the Spotland, for real this time
05/01/03 Yes, quite tiresomely it's back and bigger bolder and brighter than ever for 2003, oh yes. And now for work again, oh how I miss it
20/12/02 Right, motd is buggering off for that bloody thing in December, much like everyone else. I can't see it being very updatable till the big Ninian clash on the 4th, I'm afraid. Have a pahney one!
17/12/02 Oh my god, what'm I letting myself in for, I can't bloody skate to save my life, be it in cardiff, heaven or anywhere
16/12/02 Shropshire is poncy!
15/12/02 Well here goes, you always know life's getting interesting when you work on a Sunday
13/12/02 D'oh, how stupidly wrong could I get? Oh well I have to own up to nothing. Oh, and "doooor" yes it does indeed feel like bloody Norway in here!
12/12/02 First Citroens, now the 16th (was it) day? All amenities not apparently available in our esteemed capital, but seriously, Newport??? Uhhh see you tomorrow, I really hope
10/12/02 Yawn. Brrrrrr. Oh shit.
09/12/02 Yeah, first was the beginning of the end, now there's no pieces to pick up and it's a bit shite
04/12/02 Ha, sparse? SPARSE? Blame Harry Potter this time
02/12/02 Blame blame culture a reality?
29/11/02 It's another all swinging all dancing Friday then. Whatever happened?
27/11/02 Awww little Bellamy, isn't he cute. Why is it upstairs so cruel?
26/11/02 Crash
25/11/02 Think I'm contractually obliged to mention Doncaster Belles today. Adwick was it? Oh lord, but yeah a weekend of escape either way, hopefully do me some good
19/11/02 Maybe this could be called message of the ponce instead. Or poncy cafe/bar/siop of the day
16/11/02 Uh what's happened to my ability to drink and be indie? Hmm at least the FA cup still appears to be sitting on my hand. Owwwwwwwwww
15/11/02 Ah that's more like a proper Friday - literally bogged down in work until 6:30 and a truly bugger-all evening on the "in". Few more like this and I'll be right as rain
10/11/02 At least it's a good time to clean the shower, it's rather urgent in fact, and should take my mind off things
07/11/02 Bring on the bullshit!
05/11/02 Oh hell the late nights are getting at me
03/11/02 Yay, Kerrang tv has landed in the "manor". MWUHAHA
02/11/02 Guess we're enough into the second to publish for the day. It's Saturday and I'm having a tired day. That's a prediciton by the way becasue I failed/will fail miserably to get any decent sleep. Could be bye to mopatop for a while longer!
31/10/02 Fallen by the wayside a bit of late. Hmm, I would mention haloween or whatever but it's a bit yank for me. So there you go
23/10/02 Stick a force field on the "wall"? Riiiggght
22/10/02 Laughter, about time it got banned
20/10/02 Well, after my hazardous move to NTL, my motds are beginning to storm up the google charts again, now officially the world's #4 "Welcome to the hell"! A few more examples of lost souls who presumably found enlightenment: "sample letters of apolagies", "name and shame charvas" (what a good idea!), "where can i shop in wimbldon", "somerfield Stockport organisation structure", "mathsos", "funny motds" (aha, someone's come to the right place at last!), "yarkshire", "boyz Blow Jobz", "margeret thatcher's birthday" (with the spelling error, I'm the only result!), "birmingham indiesoc forum" (again I'm out on my own), "ikea new west minster location" and "haribo publicity indian". Oh by the way I've washing to hang out and it's clucking raining goddamit
19/10/02 Arse, I'd totally forgotten all about doing this you know. Shame on me. A big night for the boyos last week, and today after a long drive gary mac's boys came close to following it up. Take that Paulsgrove!
09/10/02 Ah the October illnesses truly descend, you know I blame the students
08/10/02 Oops should therv'e been an apostraphe in fucks sake? Is it possesive? Just who is this fuck chap anyway, and why is so much done for the sake of him/her?
06/10/02 Tips for not being rather tired the day after a round trip to Gillingham, a. do use the M25 instead of looking at a map and thinking "ah London looks shorter and more fun" (good for keeping your shiny car intact too), b. avoid fucking Vauxhall at all costs (oh I'm not talking about my car either), c. don't stop in Maidenhead cos the service stations are a rip off, d. don't buy a chinese takeaway there without having any cutlery, e. don't go to a single track country lane to attempt to eat it in the dark and f. once you do get home, for fucks sake try and get some sleep
03/10/02 Ah so that's why they call it the vallies. Hmm I wonder
27/09/02 So no blog award eh? Ah well I feel I'm more subtle and strictly informative, less "here's a funny link" and less diary-like if you will, than yer old blogs. Don't forget my roots, it was all launched as a deeper alternative to those beautifal Durham ITS messages that Microsoft's notepad used to throw at you. Mmm right, anyways I've somehow got myself into catching a train at 0657 tomorrow to go to "the smoke" once more, and to see if a "pahntastic spanish brekky outlet" can really out-trendy Pontcanna
26/09/02 Maybe I do need burying in statistics, maybe it was always part of the path
24/09/02 Peanutty Thai eh? Innnteresting. Lets be in a state of transient thought and do some sleep
23/09/02 Well, all set with my shiny masculine motor (as described by a certain dark lord who's remaining nameless right), I dabbled with Britain's favourite capitalist supermarket culture today as a, yaknow, social experiment, and, yaknowhat, I came out laughing my head off. Well maybe metaphorically, but laughing my head off nonetheless. Wasted over an hour of my good time but told me more than I need about the human race, and the younger breeds in particular. Well humans, yaknow what, I look down on you! Ha!
17/09/02 Hmm no innocent Google-searchers are reaching my motd page anymore, blame the messenger I guess. Oh and where is my car please?
16/09/02 Oh, did I mention beef jerky?
12/09/02 OK if you ever get washing machine difficulties, try the obvious before resorting to the flooding the room option
11/09/02 Oh how the mighty Oysters have fallen
10/09/02 Huzzah! Looks like 23 years and one week to the day could be the day I get on wheels
09/09/02 And the old man looms away
08/09/02 Too much burgery-k... and welsh-related football
06/09/02 I need something to get up to and fast!
03/09/02 Yes indeed I have just discovered what goes on inside one of the plugholes in here. I DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW!!!
02/09/02 More sleep from now on
01/09/02 Ooh booger it's September, in the last couple of days, I've come down with serious sneezing again, I've still insofar failed to tidy up, my neck is fucked, I'm getting old, but nevermoooooiiiinnnndddd
30/08/02 Me? Depressed? Nevaaaa! Ne'mind having to stick yer Tino where it hurts, it all means all the more soup and pie for me and the pine
29/08/02 Owwwww my mouth, think that pizza needed to be less hot
28/08/02 Two long days in a row, some usual pisspoor football and yet nothing's changed
25/08/02 Tomorrow's gonna be looooonnnnggggg and drab and miserable. Bring on the Tino next week perhaps (or maybe not, work permit you've gotta be kidding)
23/08/02 OK looks like a whole lot less hours to speed-tidy a whole lot more shit
22/08/02 Holidays. Why bother indeed
21/08/02 It's late, and this one's merely to prove I'm not a dooble-standaaards hypocrite, having today accused the posse of yet another grande posse silence. If only anyone actually read this!
20/08/02 Uh, was that chicken undercooked or was it me? Uh-oh
19/08/02 I'm back for another week of general not getting things done
14/08/02 A lot of chillout, I just wish I'd stop sneezing the whole time
13/08/02 And so official posse tour 2002 turns up. Now to think of some activities. Ummm
12/08/02 Sorry for the slight gap, I was back in England after a few weeks of solid exile, and watching football again. But the question mark on everyone's lips is WHERE THE HELL IS NATIONWIDE LEAGUE EXTRA. I'm sorry I'm really not sure I can live without it. Seriously. And no I'm not buying sky sports. So looks like this could be it, dasvedanya et merci pour les poisson
08/08/02 OK I've just been soaked again, and part of the purpose of my trip was to buy an umbrella, but the shop was closed. That's the second time in 2 weeks (I didn't tell you about the ninian park time cos I was on motd annual leave)
07/08/02 I need to start sorting some basics out here, the internet is losing me half the time I would have had!
06/08/02 First attempt at Indian cooking, momentous man
05/08/02 Aha, it's getting to the running-out-of-food-ideas stage of living
04/08/02 Yes! At bloody last it's back, and in a new location (which isn't really that memorable, but shouldn't change again for the time-being and I'm buggered if I'll pay for a memorable name!). So what's been up while I've been "away"? Well not much really. Not much at all. This weekend's been a bit more busy though, with pine, wobbly b and cornershop (you know as in on da 45, remember?) starring
13/07/02 Once I'm in and computered up maybe I can think about getting back to real life, ie motds and the like
29/06/02 And it's goodbye from England, Sven, Nelson, Churchill n'all, and it's hello boyos
27/06/02 Use the force?
26/06/02 And I'm out!
25/06/02 Wow, and we're down to the last 7.5 in my corner of cheylesmore
24/06/02 Les Moules, les moules
23/06/02 D'you really think that made it all alright? Not that I ever cared anyway
22/06/02 Think the piles of prospects can go in the cupboard now
21/06/02 Bye bye Beckham, nothing against you but I shan't be missing you over breakfast
20/06/02 I'm not sure I'm really a shower bag person, that's the thing
19/06/02 Right, it all seems to be sorted for now then
17/06/02 Well that was a posh place indeed. Think I'll have a touch of public-transport (as-supplied-in-this-country) phobia by the end of tomorrow. Oh like I said I should mention the venue of last Saturday. Very retro indeed (I think that's what I mean)
13/06/02 Oh, haven't done this for a while. Hectic few days compared with usual, next week's looking on the busy side too
10/06/02 You're turning into a penguin. Stop it.
09/06/02 Performance management
07/06/02 I think I've found my vocation in life
06/06/02 Bloody Beckham and the lot, I'm beginning to wish they'd just disappear
05/06/02 Do I want to publicise this website? Oh very clever! I already get far more "random" hits than is comfortable! (Hmm I fear this e-mail could be a gateway to a spammed up mailbox)
04/06/02 Yeah, where did that precious time go?
03/06/02 Thank God I'm living like a hermit, otherwise I might be sorely tempted to, umm, take down some union jacks
02/06/02 Ugh I remember now what's wrong with cycling. If you think it's the hills, well lets just say yep 100% right the bloody hills
01/06/02 As if my sleep pattern had any more room for being even more fucked anyway...
31/05/02 Didn't I just always say those froggies were going to come a cropper?
30/05/02 Hello you have reached the survey helpdesk how may I help you today?
29/05/02 What is your proudest moment? Oh help
27/05/02 Well it's all been happening hapharrently
26/05/02 Garden centres, where the chattering over 45s congregate to spend the rest of their meaningless lives. Avoid like plague.
24/05/02 Not any more will the carrots of the moon circulate the parrot of the sun. For it is forbidden. Well forbidden.
23/05/02 And the 'phone finally went a bit mental
22/05/02 Oh woe, I got trounced
21/05/02 A team of Gary Breens, please
20/05/02 Oh my god that was horrible - I've even been on Andrews salts today
19/05/02 Washing up dum dum dum dumdum dum
18/05/02 Another distinct lack of morning there
17/05/02 Maybe not, but another damn pahnterview approaches
15/05/02 and can you bilb?
14/05/02 Uh lord where do these theatre-goers magically appear from, they can't be from real life surely
12/05/02 Bring on the bigots
11/05/02 Bye bye tractors
10/05/02 karl you dirty freakboy
08/05/02 Will Murdoch stick with c5s most crucial programming one wonders
07/05/02 Stop waving them silly union jacks and join the scots, you won't regret it
06/05/02 Days out disappear as fast as days in
05/05/02 Maybe I need some breakfast lunch distinction
04/05/02 Yay, I'm gonna miss that indulgent cockney waffle
03/05/02 We wants the munki
02/05/02 Here's a thing. Jump back 30 years and look at yerself, freakboy
01/05/02 Where are the commies the rest of the year?
29/04/02 The future is POLO shaped
28/04/02 Walk the walk of pc world
27/04/02 Ho ho I certainly never went to hildbede day in my time... much
26/04/02 Inspiration is a thing for the lesser and gets old very fast
25/04/02 Ooh another wasted thursday
24/04/02 Ooh another wasted wednesday
23/04/02 Happy st pooneys day
22/04/02 Oh no I think my arm is failing me
21/04/02 Boing while you can, it won't last
19/04/02 Oo-arrrrrrrr
18/04/02 Owwww I just wish I could eat and talk properly again
17/04/02 I'd go for Stevie
16/04/02 And it's not even a blog, so there
15/04/02 Err I'm advertising? How very bizarre... welcome, err, customers
12/04/02 All over, as (almost) accurately predicted
10/04/02 and then there was...
09/04/02 No no no, the fuckers at the bbc have put repetitive sanctimonious drivel over fucking neighbours for the third time in a week, will you PLEASE stick to your fucking schedule?
08/04/02 At 11:30, I think I'll just have to escape to the bog
07/04/02 Hey Piney, ddd-d-ddd-d-ddd-d-d eh?? So come on does the number the number they gave you contain a set of three [censored]s?
06/04/02 Falls apart more and more by the week. Only getaway was Warsaw it seems
05/04/02 Oh yeah, I forgot to say last week... the walkers-bowl! HAHAHAHAHAHA. No doubt I'll be visiting next season, hmm 2 adults for the cheese and onion stand upper tier please
04/04/02 Jam tarts are best before the best before date
03/04/02 You want CLARITY? Who d'ya think I am, the PLAIN ENGLISH CAMPAIGN? There shall be no "telling it as it is" round here, and there never has been!
02/04/02 Whaddaya do when yer driving, want some sleep and in a pub all evening? Poncy drinks the only way
01/04/02 The queen is dead! Oops sorry April fool, agh had yer hopes up there didn'i?
31/03/02 Dorr minieggs dorr
30/03/02 Old woman dies. The end.
29/03/02 Why does instinct always dictate choosing the hand over something more sensible, like a bin???
27/03/02 Poor ol' itv monkey, oh how funny you were
26/03/02 Did you enjoy the brief holiday from motds? I did
23/03/02 Fopp.. Pineybeats galore?
22/03/02 mwaha. Agh, even gfddddddddddddddzzzzzzzzzfghdbzfhb
21/03/02 Uhhh how very draining
20/03/02 A whole bloody day?
19/03/02 Dorr where did it go?
18/03/02 Weather for laziness
17/03/02 Make the baggies replay it!
16/03/02 Well personally I'd rather assist him in grabbing the farms
15/03/02 mmm a 4 day weekend to waste
14/03/02 I gotta get thru this
13/03/02 Did I ever apologise about the counters? Either way they aren't there for you to make jokes about!
12/03/02 Joe the refugee-killer, feel the guilt!
11/03/02 Nation of true sheep
10/03/02 Da bitchz boyz are on tv then
09/03/02 So we're back to the "vital" season
08/03/02 Glossop North End eh? Just remembered, smallest town to ever host a topflight team
07/03/02 Welllll let's see
05/03/02 Bllllllllluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhh
04/03/02 Ooh noo I've got that taste of illness creeping up
03/03/02 Yo, blind man
28/02/02 Great, at last Neighbours starts to get the long lost sense of humour back
27/02/02 Application hell at 3am part 2?
26/02/02 Bugger, would you adam n eve it the heating's broken down
25/02/02 Oh, and did I mention the Bier sans-alcohol? Think candle wax. Without the integrity of that cathedral stuff from Van Mildert
24/02/02 No, no Belgian football after all. Damn thatcherite fools that they are!
21/02/02 Belgian football?
20/02/02 sex is what bill clinton didn't have, nothing to do with all that relations bollox
19/02/02 jobz please
18/02/02 Baby K truly on the loose
17/02/02 Remember next time, keep it mild!
16/02/02 No mopatop for a while 'fraid
15/02/02 Oh NO you've got to be fucking KIDDING. This 'aint ruining the hour, it's not day, week, month or year-ruining stuff, it's fucking LIFE RUINING!!!
14/02/02 Sniff sniff.. farewell then libz (oh and mr scriptwriter don't you think the hospital life-meter thing's been done and dusted enough times? Why not just let drew discover the already-rotting corpse in the barn?
13/02/02 Inspiration... in... droves...
12/02/02 So, when are these dang terrorists going to hurry up and get on with the job?
11/02/02 Aaargh they're sending me to Brumscum
09/02/02 6-1, and I'm half asleep
09/02/02 Aaargh the jungle is coming down!
08/02/02 But on the other hand why was there any fucking point in the first place, roooight, oi think oim about to resort to selfharm roight and you can fuck off rahdom roight and [50 lines snipped] I don't know roight, oh fuck it's morning, bet I can outsleep the lecturer roight
07/02/02 Still too many airshots
06/02/02 Well the merry millermen beckon again at last
04/02/02 Wet. Damn Wet. New mug though
03/02/02 how useless
02/02/02 Nice interesting date (next to come in 1 year 1 month and 1 day on WB's 23rd birthday), and Piney got the 3rd division action he craved afterall.
30/01/02 So farewell to mr bbr then. Lets see things get better, but I doubt it
29/01/02 Yorkie but for how long?
28/01/02 Canyouspo
tthepineyhidden
inthismotd?h
ahahadorr
rrrrrrnotvery
funnyreallyisit?
"yesholtywhatever"
27/01/02 Right. Progress time. Maybe
26/01/02 Here's a question: why does no-one in the capital speak English?
25/01/02 Good to see the mafsok friend's society still going strong
24/01/02 Every run comes to an end...
22/01/02 Warsaw chris, tell your club they are dumbarses!
21/01/02 Okay okay it is not technically the twentyfirst anymore but I need to keep my run going, and I've had little time to day, taking an hour + off to do yaknowot
20/01/02 Yay, it is indeed a record!
19/01/02 oy carlton fucking
18/01/02 Wow I can still do mario 3
17/01/02 This is number 11 in a row you lucky lucky people. Keep this up 'till Sunday and we're talking records, beyond the heady 12 and 13 runs of late 2000...
16/01/02 If the standard's any better than yesterday I'll be a happy man
15/01/02 Nuneaton? FA Trophy? Oh no another mad pahn!
14/01/02 How many twisted coathangers makes a picture?
13/01/02 Can't the odeon sort out some leg room?
12/01/02 He he dire and a half. But not 0-0 at least. But does it even amuse the pine any more, for surely we are losing our sight and minds here
11/01/02 Hey ho kiddie "0-0" minster. Oh wait I can't...
10/01/02 don't go mad
09/01/02 D'you think updating this would've made a good new years resolution? Bit late? Maybe I'll make it the Chinese one
08/01/02 Hang about quentin, I did update the blasted thing yesterday didn't I?
07/01/02 Errm, hello 2002 then. Oh, seven days have passed? Been a tad on the dull side then I guess
24/12/01 I hate it. I just hate it. I wish it would go away
20/12/01 Sick of the lack of updates? It's cos I can't be arsed. So I'll say merry crimbo and new year (if you like that kind of thing) and goodbye from 2001 (if, true to form, I can't be arsed again) all in one go right now. Oop the league may we crawl...
15/12/01 Why does it feel so unchristmasy? That's the way I like it actually. W'hay! Look out for another long hard depressing slog tomorrow
11/12/01 2 away days (of differing contexts) in a row. Baggies debacle tomorrow then some really sad stuff!
09/12/01 Well... I really don't know what to say! Cringe-a-minute stuff, that dang film was!
05/12/01 Uuuuh too much Haribo. Must stop
27/11/01 Eez chocca. Waka waka. Boom boom
25/11/01 We hate Villa more than Brum, then? I know the converse 'aint true, but... (oh and note for PJ, look this is 2 days in a row I've updated, also you said a week had gone by without one, well it hadn't, as for NI, hmmm I think I missed most of the juicy bits. Though Derry walls have a distinctly eerie feel to them. Perhaps due to the total lack of people and the "interesting" graffiti)
24/11/01 Aaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyeeeeeeehhhhhhhh... still at Michael's then, all round good bloke!
21/11/01 Got a survey? Bin it. Do it now.
15/11/01 We're all off to the Ardoyne then. Maybe.
11/11/01 Remember crap all, look to the present old fools!
09/11/01 Last day of freedom
04/11/01 Well, I, f*^$(" bloody xxxx sdffjfedfj naa w*4£ers damn, I do not believe it. Phew that's better
01/11/01 Ah Bollicks to it, it's freakin' November and still no progress. Oh, and so much for the great October clean sheet. Bloody Mo!
29/10/01 Wow, that was some par-tay! Frea-kay (erm, is that the party line? Geddit?)
25/10/01 The ideal candidate is a twat, not me, so screw you!
24/10/01 Oh dear, this isn't going to be a very good record of my life if I don't update it is it? Right, umm, today I'm not going to Wimbldon...
16/10/01 Hmmmmm, no more dull football please
13/10/01 OK bizarre dream (what else?) no. 2... Thismorning, with the radio still on, a cameo appearance by ben and quin, who were staying in a b+b somewhere in Yorkshire, and were going to see judge jules there. They were generally saying how well he'd done for a 90 year old, that his success came from appealing to football fans (aha, that bit's linked to what I was reading about the BNP in McK's book last night). I remember thinking "wow, I had no idea he'd been around that long" or something. Meanwhile Pine had been in the same town but we hadn't seen him because we didn't know what pub he was chilling in. I think he was a bit pissed off. And to think, now I'm off to Kidderminster to see a game I couldn't care less about. A bit random, maybe
10/10/01 "Collateral damage" in the key targeting of economic, military and now propoganda targets. That's the American way of thinking anyway
08/10/01 Exclusive, Geographical location has no bearing on how thick you are, they are all bloody thick!
05/10/01 Exclusive, like I told you last time (wrongly), the English shall not go through!
04/10/01 Warsaw awaits next week!
03/10/01 The dream I had last night involved complimentary copies of German atlases. I'd repeat it but I forgot the rest. I think I wanted to find out what the letters on the car registration plates stood for (I'm not revealing any more secrets about my hobbies from here)
02/10/01 October? Bugger it'll get cold soon.
27/09/01 Ha I haven't done this for a while have I? OK someone suggested bizarre dreams should go here... I was planning to go to some worthington cup game in Newcastle with my brother (vs Bristol Rovers I think) since he needed to "do" this ground as part of the 92. So we were driving through the drive-thru ticket office there, went up this nasty ramp like the ones going onto boats, but at the top they said "piss off we only serve tickets to people who live locally or are called Smith". Trouble was they wouldn't open the barrier in front of us and this being a single lane, there was no way out and a growing queue of angry charvas behind us. Sadly I missed out on the ugly consequences
22/09/01 Enjoy your museum, the pahn? Time to screw some prosineci
19/09/01 Make or break time
18/09/01 Well I'm back after a weak of stomach upsets (not me though) and some terrorists out west who should "not be tolerated" when they start doing their illegal thing
10/09/01 A change of manager then... a birthday present? Please can things improve now? (Oh, no motds for a week either - I'll be off to see some commies)
08/09/01 Well I blame the fans!
05/09/01 Svengland 0 Albania 0, you heard it here first!
03/09/01 Oh dear the cat seems to have done her head in, poor little thing
02/09/01 Woss with all these Scouses? The arian goalie will have heez revenge
31/08/01 Goodbye to August and our great British registration system then
29/08/01 Wow, a true Birmingham balti?
27/08/01 Right here I go, geared up for the forest, to be honest we ought to be waving goodbye to the man if this goes pearshaped.
26/08/01 Yes indeed I'm back, ciao etc after a week of Paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyy (who wasn't even there) and stuff
19/08/01 A brief interlude, Yarkshire was fine bar the lack of ventolin hell, tomorrow I go all Italian so no more motds for another week, soz!
16/08/01 Last day at home for awhile, they're gonna dry up a bit, sorry...
15/08/01 what's got lou's goat?
14/08/01 Ouch, the doctor has killed my arm!
13/08/01 Phew, just 6 more hours to Nationwide League Extra, and the resumption of real life. More bloody doctor malarkey to go through tomorrow aswell
12/08/01 How the mighty have fallen. No longer can the Stockport call themselves the true kings
10/08/01 Well this will be the last motd before stockportageddon... the predictions are in and it's all down to the fat lady now
09/08/01 Well that was a fun lesbian film with mcK! But what's with the cake? I'm confuuused...
08/08/01 Another day, another Pahney curry... and I wish the cat would stop making me sneeze!
05/08/01 And I thankyou whoever left me that fiver on the floor last night, refunded what I splashed for that dross they dare to call football at highfield road anyway
03/08/01 This is a bit tiresome really. Is anyone really reading? Does anyone really care? Maybe the death of MOTD is nigh (for the other MOTD has already died)
02/08/01 What the hell is going on? Does this hypothetical stadium belong to CCFC in any way? Farewell to Mr "fat thug" anyway
01/08/01 Oh balls we have reached August then. Time for getting acts together perhaps!
31/07/01 Right maybe I should start brushing up on some Italian... errr, ciao!
30/07/01 It's so late it is the 30th now, so the 29th will just have to lose out, sorry! Well later today (much later!) I'm off to Brum to see McK. Should be an epic...
28/07/01 so Oxcart becomes a financeman... watch out the city!
27/07/01 Sigh.... major sleep deprivation. Still, I may see dr. pine thisevening
26/07/01 Well we really really need to avoid injuries given that alternative!
24/07/01 I have sneezed way too much today
23/07/01 Jurassic fart 3, probably not worth the effort, I probably could have told you that beforehand mind
22/07/01 Jeez I'm reduced to watching golf now
21/07/01 Still tidying! At last some structure returns here!
20/07/01 I'm still getting organised, unpacking etc. When that's done I'll be able to sort this mess of a page!
19/07/01 Well I am back, and very disorganised right now, so things are still a mess and the site is not properly back up yet. Give it time! As for Greece, it was hot. And it is not here.
03/07/01 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH IT'S ABOUT TO BLOW!!!! THIS STUFF WILL ALL REAPPEAR IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS AT http://www.maths.warwick.ac.uk/~tbh (or some other cleverly thought of address - don't follow the link back here!!). But until then I am lazing around in Greece so I'm afraid you are going to have to wait! Incidentally my email is now to send crap to. Happy job hunting (if that's yer inclination)
29/06/01 So here we are, last full day in this place. The motds will no doubt continue to thrive elsewhere!!!
28/06/01 This is the penultimate motd that'll be written from Durham Meanwhile, Durham Pahn is gone for good
27/06/01 Yeah call me Holty Bsc then, I won't bother with the crap Will likes. With a very empty room. Details of the future of this page coming soon.
26/06/01 Next time you read this I'll probably have letters after my name. So it's all over. Nearly. Packing time!
25/06/01 Blimey it's gettin' hot, too much to bloody do
23/06/01 You know, I really cannot be arsed
22/06/01 End of term is here, except for us departing mugs
21/06/01 See you all in Stockport then?
19/06/01 Too many slow unproductive days are happening at the moment
18/06/01 Well that was a bit of a nonevent. On the final straight towards the end now
15/06/01 We're more or less at that focal point of endoyearness, cuth's day
14/06/01 Chinese then, should be fun
13/06/01 Yessssssssssssssssssssssss that will do nicely thankyou. Not that I'd've settled for it 3 years ago. But for today, it is a result.
12/06/01 I'm waittting... today please would be nice
11/06/01 Owwww guess where I am (or just been actually)... Poolie!!! All that went wrong weren't my fault as well
09/06/01 Hey go for some action from poet (but not the people's poet) quen and the digital salvation of coooooooooooooool thisafternoon, I'm sure you won't be disappointed
08/06/01 It just wasn't the same as 97, but still fun watching the toryboys trounced nonetheless.
07/06/01 No vivas then. So it's wait for the worst now. And worry.
06/06/01 Da Pahn is in da Berwick
05/06/01 Time to start getting up early.
04/06/01 {F*CK!!! I didn't copy it probably so this message is another lost in the bowels of time forever. For the record it was something about hating job hunting and passing mck's clinical depression test on the internet, in fact it sounded a lot like it was written by the mck himself!}
01/06/01 Now it just gets boring. Kind of.
31/05/01 Well. That is it. Thaaaaatttt issssss itttttttt. Bar the fat lady singing. And the results.
30/05/01 Corr, time to spod up a bit on some education. This could be my last evening of academic strife ever, you know, so I'll get down to it!
28/05/01 So that's nearly it. The last leg begins here. I need it to be good please
24/05/01 Just as things get slightly better they get worse again! I'm beginning to get sick of it, time to put another record on, and its coming next year!
21/05/01 Statistics are losing their appeal.
18/05/01 Margeret the Thatcher's gonna get ya!
17/05/01 So there it is, 3rd here I come (perhaps). NOone to blame but myself. Sod it, who cares anyway?
16/05/01 Ummmmm right, about time I went and did lots and lots (and lots) of this SE malarkey!
15/05/01 Yo, I'm back in the real world temporarily, sorry for the gap. Oh, an exam... nooooooooooooooooo. I'm off to hibernate again
10/05/01 Hey I guess that was my last ever lecture! Why don't I feel that much like celebrating?
08/05/01 Last of the data mining, and time to panic with a week to go. One friggin week! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhhhhhh etc
07/05/01 A bank holiday, and Nationwide day 3. And they still get me up before nine.
05/05/01 So after 34 long years, we suddenly face a new challenge. People, this is going to be interesting. See ya all at Millmore. Also, goodbye to Feethams for a fair while I suspect.
04/05/01 Wkd, more new material coming next week
03/05/01 Ummmmmmm, well yes. What is new today?
02/05/01 Return of the pahn, so to speak. Prepare!
01/05/01 Anyone started a riot yet? I see dada mining could drive people to it
30/04/01 A traditional 4:30 am finish, but it's done.
26/04/01 Betta late than neva huh? Well done the Germans but where oh where were the arians (is that how you speel it?)???
25/04/01 Oy, funky slug kru, nooooooo
24/04/01 Data mining, bloody alcoholics, aaargh me head
23/04/01 At last, an oppurtunity for change! Umm I'm back. Surprisingly.
19/04/01 And so, farewell, home... time for one last big effort?
18/04/01 Have you noticed, I've kept this lark up all friggin hols
17/04/01 Well that was a good duck!
16/04/01 Had a happy eater? been average
14/04/01 Down
13/04/01 Don't believe a word of the hype, he died exclusively for his own pr puposes, nothink else...
12/04/01 A fun day out to Spaceways etc, less fun than it sounds actually!
11/04/01 OK 9 days left here now, let us make the most.
10/04/01 Hey how did ten days pass since April? Where went all that revision time? D'orrrr...
09/04/01 Don't sample, take the immediate decision!
08/04/01 So far so good... now cumon the mackem skum
07/04/01 Oh well, here goes, Pahn is off to Leicester too, it could be all over this time tomorrow. You'll find out. Mansfield bastards!!! (signed T Pine)
05/04/01 Oh brilliant. So they lost half my email. Well I shan't say any more. Just what is needed after spending half the day at IKEA
04/04/01 Why is my email not working? And WHAT is all this crap happening over Easter???? I is not impressed! I need the holy email
03/04/01 Ho ho ho... wasting too much time on ssssssnake etc
02/04/01 This website has caught foot and mouth. It's gonna be vaccinated soon though, just disinfect before leaving.
31/03/01 Good results but it's just Derby being crap. Still can't see any light.
30/03/01 Time to see the outside world again, and the foreign climes of Kenilworthshire. Tomorrow, the r word is imminent, I'll keep you posted.
29/03/01 Poor old Pahn and his printing woes... my advice? Blame Microsoft of course!
28/03/01 {SH*T!!! I seem to have lost this one... it was something about the visit to Coventry of the krappy popstars and their screaming pratty fans. And how sad I was of this dumbing down. Anyone remember what it was?}
27/03/01 Much as it is ironic, BBR is right, the strach must stay!!!
26/03/01 Lordy lord. Weren't the manics great? hahaha
24/03/01 Superjohn for England!
22/03/01 Chillin at the docs, fun!!
20/03/01 There's a Pahney in da house, means curry can't be far away!
19/03/01 Oh how I love chillin' at home!
18/03/01 Relegation! I'm sure it'll be one of those life-changing, enriching experiences... now we're back to lazy Sunday afternoons worrying about work...
16/03/01 Out of Durham in a few hours but don't worry, the motds don't stop there man!
15/03/01 Ah, so that's it for today. Hell, thats 3 out of my last 4 cancelled, only one left now!
14/03/01 Wot a performance, bring on the Georgie superdome!
13/03/01 Hohum, we're not very far into the thirteenth. Jam night, Ben was, ummm, inspired!!!!!
12/03/01 Will. Bad news.
10/03/01 Uhhh, football can really take it out of you. Back to some work then!
09/03/01 Meet the new, umm, publicity officer of indiesoc mr. beep broosta. Remember what I told you, you didn't listen and look wot happened!
08/03/01 I SAID, DOES PAHN LOOK LIKE A B*TCH. SAY WOT, SAY WOT ONE MORE TIME
07/03/01 Like, yeah.
06/03/01 Yes yes I know you've been missing your daily dose of crap from these parts for the last 4 days. Well don't blame me, blame BLOODY ARTS STUDENTS, tell them to either do their stupid dissertations in good time of get there own bloody computer. I don't know....
02/03/01 Well I am out of this place for a while. Have a happy birthday Will and everyone have a fun time, sorry I couldn't be there (unless the trains decide to mess me around of course)
01/03/01 OK, a bit of a shock here in the shape of a change of photo after the best part of 2 years. The old one was getting, well, old... anyway if you are interested this is me in a semi-paralytic state, June 2000, sorry that I look so mad...
28/02/01 hmmmm, interesting. D'you think I want anything to do with your stupid mathsoc anyway? And you have all been the pinnacle of organisation this year, oh yes. Sod you I'm of to Piney's history soc instead, so there.
27/02/01 Mathsoc event hapnin soon, full report to come tomorrow
26/02/01 Welll we are back in yet another dull week. Look out for the newlook stars of prague, it could be amusing!
23/02/01 Yawn... stats took too long for anyone's good
22/02/01 Ummmm. I could really use a meat and potato piney right now.
21/02/01 A win, albeit lucky and unconvincing, and a phonecall from scouse to ruin my sleep patterns yet further. *Fume*
20/02/01 Early finish, now for some more fun with Darlo (maybe, this time)
19/02/01 Time to relax, the presentation is over. Man alive that was what I call stress!
16/02/01 Everyone is Kieron baiting today. I think the RSPCK should be called in.
15/02/01 Presentation... should be ok... must work... and fast.
14/02/01 Transparencies! Where the hell you get 'em? This is another petrol style crisis coming on I think.
13/02/01 No sign of mck yet then, lets hope he's out the cell by now. Oh yeah, we wuz robbed, bluddy hammer.
12/02/01 Project to write crap on, full speed ahead!
11/02/01 A Sunday attempting to work then. I really must do better. The mood has gone, yes, because it was stopping my page loading. Sorry!
09/02/01 After partying the night away, it seems that poor old MOTD has a bit of a hangover. The day after the night before as it were! In fact, it is running out of memory. Time to start a new year with some new hopes and resolutions. Or not.
08/02/01 Hartson? Clutching at straws, but something had to happen... Cough, go away and go away now, you are not welcome! OH CRAP I TOTALLY FORGOT, HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY, A WHOLE YEAR OF TOTAL RUBBISH!!! THANKYOU FOR LISTENING...
07/02/01 A standard Pahhneey Wednesday. Did Scouse enjoy flunky slunks? I hope so...
06/02/01 I have a cough, my back hurts, my feet hurt and I'm not even breathing properly. What do I most need? Data mining! Oh hell.
05/02/01 Bishop Auckland... sleet... cold... Its been a long time since I last reported ainit! 3 days till the big'un, you know...
02/02/01 Friday, it is nearly time to start heading towards those barmy Yorkies again...
01/02/01 So, there goes 25% of one module anyhow... now for the project. Oh arse.
31/01/01 Pahhhnooo di coffinooo, Pahhhnooo di coffinooo, Pahhhnooo di coffinooo, Pahhhnooo di coffinooo. Sing along.
30/01/01 ID parades??? Ooh help, I'm scared....
29/01/01 Cutting off our power at 5 in the morning and expecting me to still get up is not a very good idea, IS IT????
27/01/01 After a long long wait for kebab and chips (and some coke), another day of bad football news in prospect. You gotta luvit!
26/01/01 Another gap in Piney-baiting required? Pfffffft we'll see.
25/01/01 For the ginge is still the ginge. Fun.
24/01/01 Well I totally forgot to update a motd earlier. Because I was too busy looking at nestcape, which is now sorted! Sorted! But a Wednesday is still a Wednesday.
23/01/01 2 hours of SE is 2 hours too much!
22/01/01 Syruppy, first of the year. Oh great.
21/01/01 [rare Sunday motd here] What the f is going on indeed? Conceding three goals at home is a call for action! Now!
20/01/01 3 Days of sheer illness and not a single gap in your motd service. Well aren't you lucky? (I'm just off to Darlo to see some crap and make myself even worse)
19/01/01 A quick trip to education, a result of being a bit fed up with constant rest. But I am still **sooo foookin ill** (copyright peccles 99)
18/01/01 Well I have come down with a nasty condition so am going home to rest, so goodbye to today.
17/01/01 Roll up, roll up, its the Parker bridges handbag session coming to town! Just 10 pounds/5 Juv/OAP/NUS etc
16/01/01 More Darlo action coming up for us, ummm, Darloids. Good one Pahhhneeey!! Tomorrow.
15/01/01 Come and live in Mag St. Ya know ya want to. Modern fitted kitchen (minus cupboard dorrr and section of carpet), fridge AND freezer (in one very compact unit), fire exit!!! And fire blanket and microwave not including the, errr, fire blanket and microwave.... all this for a bargain.... oh nevermind
13/01/01 Ahhhh ahhhh boycott Van Mildert with immediate effect. The scum, the scum...
12/01/01 OMG A week over already. But never fear, Sunday is a-coming.
11/01/01 Let project PJ begin!
10/01/01 Wednesday and no school, whatta luxury. Oh yes, 0-4 and he's still in bed after his evening? Yep yagottit!
09/01/01 Software Engineering huh? Entertaining stuff! But even I can begin to tire of it.....
08/01/01 Yes I am back in Durham, yes I nearly froze thismorning as I got out of bed, and yes I have lots of work to do. Honestly...
05/01/01 Oh why am I updating this? Last chance for work indeed fast approaching.
04/01/01 And now there's a day in which to do a month's work. Silly me.
03/01/01 I'm bored with 2001 already.
02/01/01 Phew, at last I can say all the festive nonsense is starting to come to an end, and life is getting back to normal, which of course means work. Typical.
01/01/01 Woweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I just had to give you a message to commemorate what is considered by some to be the start of a new millenium! Well That is debateable, but het I loved typing in todays date, it had such an uncanny smootheness to it! Anyway, it is quite late (or early as regards the new minenium) so gubye, an respec n happy new year to yas all. Let it be better than the last couple an I will thank ya my lord. HOnest to goodness. Bye, I rally fcking need sleep now........
30/12/00 Hold... on ... to...lead... grrr. Sort it out man
29/12/00 Snow. Shoes. Wet.
27/12/00 As Christmas disappears behind us, I just get iller and iller. Arse. Thank god for life's little saviours eh, Everton? pfffftttt.
25/12/00 Ho ho ho. Oh look if it aint just crimbo day itself. As I may have earlier stated, I hate this time of year with a vengence. But I avoided the Titanic. Little pleasures eh????
21/12/00 {something I tragically lost went here} at last yesterday. Agonna win. Or so, according to that song I was just listening to, happily obtained from somewhere. And Piney's gonna see the grinch! One bigh yak for hem methinks.
20/12/00 So, all the guests have gone. Saw a fun Kieron-style moshpit at last yesterday. A case of spot the Brummie indeed.
18/12/00 Technically, it may be Monday. But believe me, it's Sunday. Yesterday was dour football day, lots of dour 0-1 defeats to make utterly depressing reading. Today, a bit of reminiscing on the days that Pine used to dine at Ricky's (what's that I hear you say, you mean he doesn't anymore??? Well no, its called Kenilworth kebab house now). But not dining there incurs the usual penalty for poor old pahhhnnneeeyyy.
15/12/00 I have no time, and nothing to say.
14/12/00 Saw Will Clinton, yep mr will not tolerate terrorism himself fly overhead earlier. So what? Too right...
13/12/00 Pretty much eventless. Piss off to the pit from whence you came, scumbag bush.
12/12/00 Aargh, went off to Brum to see McKieron, just walked and walked and walked round dull indie stores! Next time we'll do the kebab I think matey, much as I enjoy the company of old people and fry-ups.
11/12/00 Home again, not enough work done already, school file. Lovely.
10/12/00 Ooops, sorry Quin. So that's 3 people, any more takers? (ps I'm home, and have a nasty cold already)
08/12/00 It is hellishly windy, hope the football's not affected, and I really see no point in doing any more of these now no-ones reading (sorry Miles, meant one person, and maybe pj flicking through the archive at some point. Makes life so worthwhile!)
07/12/00 Now people are really starting to leave. One full day left here, then the messages may slow down, soz!
06/12/00 Merry Christmas (lectures is over). However, the real work has only just begun, for I am that far behind. Fun ahead in bundles!
05/12/00 Da Paahnnneeey is departed and that is nearly that for lectures. Oh and I'm hungry to boot.
04/12/00 Not much lectures left now, just one piece more work. Must___do____more_____work_____now_____.
03/12/00 Bradford eh? What a joke, we're all off on a tour of the nationwide... mmm the bescot I can't wait!
01/12/00 Meester Holt, I know of no such person, indeed. Fool. Hell its December, that means bloody christmas round the corner. Tell it to go away.
30/11/00 Wowzer, last Thursday of term can it really be? Bonza!!!!
29/11/00 School is out for good now, that I can promise. They may have said "doing a pgce then?" pah, be realistic!
28/11/00 Oh, if it isn't just getting wet again. Sickening.
27/11/00 Bloody arty students, just listen to the fools tapping. Learn about computers!
25/11/00 Well Piney got a bit chunder-level pissed then. Oh well. Its the Villa today and I just aint got the enthusiasm no more.
24/11/00 Happy birthday to pahhhhnnnneeeeeeyyyy for today he is truly da bitch.
23/11/00 Thursdays are suddenly long and hard again. 3 whole bloody hours, its sick man I tell you. School? Only once more. In my life.
21/11/00 Ipswich eh? Europe eh? Errr can I just have a big laugh at your expense, not that I hate them or anything but come on.... OK I am very pissed off with, well, er everything at present. So don't even speak to me.
20/11/00 Umm, a weekend later and a fun Saturday watching others trash Nev St. Well anyone would think so. I should work really, honest.
17/11/00 Well telnet was bust, hence late motd. Hey its Friday and I'm not out partying. Why? Well its Darlo/Gary stuff tomorrow and I've work to do. Blast.
16/11/00 A 2-15 start and I am still too tired for stupid lectures. Why?
15/11/00 Wowzer, its nearly 10 and me only just checked me email. Good luck to team hyak however ya doin, you'll need it with Quinothy in tow.
14/11/00 So the munki and squizza have finished for now. Shame. I am still tired, even though I didn't go this time. Dorrrr.
13/11/00 Mondays just aren't much effort anymore these days. Work. Must do. Pronto!
12/11/00 Hey I logged in from home today just to updat this (honest). Feel lucky!!!!!!
11/11/00 Oh dear, Darlo going down the pot well and truly. Whatever that means. Solution? Out with the wallet!
10/11/00 Realised work is now a real problem. I should do some now, before the Chinese. Should be some fun anyway.
09/11/00 I woke up unable to open one of my eyes thismorning. That was not 100% pleasant. But I have survivied an afternoon at school, only 2 more to go.
08/11/00 Ha, I am getting my message in early today. Later (much later) I will be going to school, but recent events have kind of denied me sleep I much deserve, so farewell.
07/11/00 So? Did you hear the Munki-Squirrel thing last night with their extra special guest? I'll be very disappointed if not. Sadly I am now very tired in addition to being very wet and miserable (did some arse cry on their birthday or what?)
06/11/00 It is raining. And expected to be for 3 days. A bit dorrrr. But never mind, you may catch me on 107fm tonight. OK its 2am. Oh go on. Please...
04/11/00 Last night was quite unusual, dunno about the merits of mwuhahaha yet I'm afraid but I like the idea of being cultured wine conosseurs. And I'm happy I don't remember much of the bus journey, thankgod.
03/11/00 It is Friday. I might go to mwu-ha-ha-ha or whatever its called. Not that I'm convinced, but I have to see what they bang about. Tara.
02/11/00 Wow its raining again. Something is irritating. Maybe its that it is just such a nothing day. Lots more to come too.
01/11/00 Had to go to school thismorning. Brought some nasty memories flooding back. But my cold appears to be on the way out... cheerio cheerio
31/10/00 I say, its haloweeeeeeeeeeeeeen and I'm still quite ill, but not quite so much as before you'll be pleased to know.
30/10/00 Apolagies to Miles and the other posse of readers of this page, but I have been very ill with a very nasty cold today, and missed my lecture thisafternoon. To top it all off I got drenched into the bargain as global warming buggers us up once more. Now I'm going to an ultra-capitalist presentation because, of course, it means free food.
28/10/00 Wow, its 11:59, but I just got a message in for today. Sunderland are very average. Right I need to end before it becomes tomorrow! Bye!
26/10/00 OK so maybe I got a basic sum wrong. So what anyway? Its only arithmetic, real maths is done with letters. Bloody greek ones.
25/10/00 Well. Picture this. An Oxley. And a gym. Or maybe that is an image you would rather not picture. Sorry! Duff stuff to follow later, I promise. Oh yes, I'm as serious as cancer when I say Piney's not a dancer!
24/10/00 So, the munki and squirrel show is up and away. But what is this? Aaaaaaaaarghhhh its a mobile-carrying cockney "But which one is which"... kind of you to invite the actual presentors onto the show really!
23/10/00 Livewired, thankgod for some entertainment at last! Well done to all concerned. Also, if you want messages on Sundays, then you'll just have to make sure I get some decent facilities on that holy day.
21/10/00 6-0? Huh its not fair, we aint really got a goalie. And one last waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to poor old Tanucci who has had her last ever outing. boo hoo
20/10/00 Hell I am tired. It is wet (sans tanucci), and I've just had to face the thought of 48 of God's little innocent creations getting slaughtered. This does not have the vibe of a good day.
19/10/00 haaa maaa name is paaaaaaanhiiiiiey. Alright bob, alright dave, alright gaz, alright jez, I'm a pop right me...
18/10/00 Dring Dring. Dring Dring. Dum Dum Dum Dum. Dorrr Dorrr. Is it the fire alarm? Is it a musical masterpiece? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, its the oxcart mobile!!! HAHAHAHAHA ya wee rah.
17/10/00 So, Kieron in a bit of a tizz. Everyone should be nice to each other. Really.
16/10/00 St. Leonard's RC school then. Should be fun!
14/10/00 Darlo win, though againgst poor oppo. Skyblues triumph also. Waaay
13/10/00 Rockshots? Friday 13th? I doubt it
12/10/00 Someone suggested the motd has been getting too long recently so --- there you go!
11/10/00 Well that was the easiest quiz I've ever seen I must say. Proves us mathsos are all a bit thick really I guess... still its always a good source of free choc, and even the wine was kinda ok on this occasion.... and come on England, you can defy all the odds and score a historical victory over those mighty Finns!!!
10/10/00 Bit of an average day all told, it is the big mathsoc quiz mind (hahayeright). I don't know why its so tiring, it wasn't even an early start. No, there really is nothing else of interest to say, just regard it as one of those days where the ITS motd didn't change, for example.
09/10/00 Had to go to Elvet today. Thats right, the place where goddam artyfarty dumbasses hang out alot. And I had to run there from the science site. Its all so tiresome. Anyways, have spent all weekend worrying about "the helicopter", I would tell you about what it is but I'm sure this website would get banned and I'd be kicked out if I started going into that. Just a warning, beware mistress piney!!!!!
08/10/00 I do not like Sundays, as I may well have mentioned here on a previous date. The reason? There is no normality, no post, no normal shopping, and worst of all everything is shut. So to get a reasonable hope of getting a computer, just on the day when I need it most (work n that for Monday, though not today), I need to walk all the way to the goddam science site. As if I don't do that kind of thing enough most days anyway. It stinks!!!
07/10/00 Had a heavier night that intended last night and I've now got a lovely headache, not to mention very little sleep. Today is, of course, the big one, a rivalry that has gone back years. And I think a Darlo win is necessary for this year to be anything more than mediocre.
06/10/00 Just the second day of lectures, and already I'm struggling to stay awake. I really need to think about getting more sleep in I think, and having to walk all the way home from Gray college didn't help much, it was sooooo cold, just when I'm missing my brown-green jacket the coldest weather this side of siberia comes along. How very pissing off.
05/10/00 Hmmm, teaching. That is a weird way to start a new goddam academic year, I know I will never be a teacher, but I'm sure it should be lots of fun!!! Oh how I hate having to get up, 10 o clock is way too early.
04/10/00 Today, after a late start (not too many of them left now, sigh), I discovered my timetable had messed-up big time. And I'm going to have to wait a few days to see if it'll be resolved, otherwise its time to start a-lookin at different modules... All a bit dorrrr really. Oh well. Damn lectures start tomorrow, already. Its only been 3 short months away. Ridiculous.
03/10/00 Just spent a whole day sat at a freshers fair, and you'd be surprised at how gruelling sitting at a fresher's fair can really be. So join duff please, just to make me happy! Details should soon be up at this place. Thankyou!
02/10/00 So, back in Durham, an interesting start to a new bloody year, my bed is certainly interesting, slightly wider and a bit more comfortable actually. But you get people passing in the morning, like that friendly pine fellow you know you have encountered at some stage in the pit that is your life. Well I am hungry now. Food.
29/09/00 Just a quick final message here before we reach October and my return to Durham and all that (who knows maybe messages of the day will come more frequently then). While you've been away, I saw the Crocketts, got deafened and didn't do much else this week, except see some boring Olympics. But tomorrow I am off to see the woeful skyblues lose again in London, waheey. Oh isn't it all just so interesting?? Also, I have heard rumours of adverts on the npcs in Durham. You wadd? What the hell are we, consumers? I don't know. Really. At least give us some printer credits in return! Oh yes, and this page will in the future sometime tiresomely become http://www.dur.ac.uk/t.b.holt so update your bookmarks now, although it'll almost certainly move again next year!
20/09/00 There hasn't been much to report here recently. I have somehow agreed to go and see the Crockets (as in I don't fucking think so) with McK on Saturday. And I went to Bristol and drank some very strong cider there. While there was a fuel crisis on, but that seems to have disappeared apart from darned panic-buyers. They were all a bunch of tory tossers in the first place anyway, we darned NEED expensive petrol don't they know? Well this is not a political forum anyway so I'll go.
13/09/00 At long last, this is being updated. Sorry! Since you last checked in, my 21st has been and gone, various people have been and gone and petrol has just gone. Yep I made it to Cheltenham and back with that pesky Pine (an unlucky defeat for the Darlo), but I now have little left and my plans for the next few days could run into problems. It is late, very late and I must to the docs in the morning so cya.
02/09/00 Right, it is Saturday again. Good luck to Peccles and McK who are due to have a right ball in the tin shed and then Hogan's thisafternoon! And people may be coming to these dreary Midland parts towards the end of next week. But I will be out of here in Bristol on Monday to Wednesday, so probably no new messages of the day then folks (you know I'm usually so good at keeping it updated...). Finally, why has telnet been giving me so much grief recently. Not best pleased.
27/08/00 I've finally sorted out myself some free internet time, if rather limited. I also finally witnessed a skyblue away victory, though they did have to have a nasty lock-in afterwards. I also managed to walk straight into the middle of Manchester mardi-gras 2000. Quite scary! And I am looking forward to yet another hopelessly uneventful week. Oh yes and I hope those who opted to check out Leeds (agh) are enjoying the beautifal wank-hol weather we are so accustomed to. Cheers!
24/08/00 About time I updated this really, except there's little to say. Oh, we won away! That is enough to carry a whole message surely. Except I fully expect it not to happen again for at least a year now, starting in Manchester on Saturday of course because I will be there.
19/08/00 Well the first day or the PROPER football season is upon us, and I am feeling happily pessimistic about later. Oh wells. Also, seeya to nasty Nick, shame I think. And hahaha Piney in Durham, but I want a room!
12/08/00 For most the football season is upon us. 1-1 at the Dale isn't too bad I guess. But I fear for the skyblues survival now if they struggle against a bunch of dutch part-timers... Welll. Also, good to see people finally have had the common sense to get rid of Caroline! Farewell hahaha
11/08/00 Isn't it darned annoying when there are builders/plumbers and the like in the house, forcing me to get up at unearthly hours like 8 o clock. And its not as if I've got a whole lot to do with myself once up. Such is life, please tell my annoying asthma habit to go away as well. Tara
06/08/00 Blimey time is getting on!! Well I am due off to London today, missing out on a nice balti. Ah well. Wish something interesting would happen, roll on the football season. Oh yes and congratulations to mcben on twarst (an impromptu name for his new peice of fluff, bet you cannot figure out why)
03/08/00 A new message for a new day. Indeed. Had a nice curry which I can still taste. Grrrr I am a lion Grrrr. Specifically very little else to say. Beware! They're out to get you!!!
02/08/00 Right, so David Hodgson has left. So much for all that! At least we can have a bit of good old pessimism now, it never disappoints. On the other side, farewell keano but its a good deal believe me, Thompson should be good as well. Ummm. Birmingham can be a fun place. Get the £1.50 donner and chips. Go onnnnn...
27/07/00 Must say, life has been a bit on the dull, slow side of things recently. Hope this doesn't continue all summer, I cannot take it!
24/07/00 So, looks like I am now isolated for a week in a nasty house with no-one around... (due to holidays I'm not on and the like). Oh well, better learn how to operate that darned washing machine really.
20/07/00 Blimey its been a turbulent few days, lots of complaining phonecalls to make after being completely buggered up on Tuesday. Hopefully some kind of solution is in sight now, you never know..!!
16/07/00 God, I hate tidying stuff up, just makes me sneeze nastily. Well, nearly done now anyway.
14/07/00 So there it is. My last free weekday for quite a long time was delightfully uneventful. Now for the fun to start.
12/07/00 Hrrrrmmph I may as well do this as the darned Microshaft thing I am dowloading is going slowly. I think I am now recovering from my nasty illness you will all be pleased to hear, as in I was at least up most of today. Little else to say.
11/07/00 My message to you today is a deadly serious one... be very careful about what you eat. I have just spent two days in an unpleasant state of illness due to what I suspect to be food poisoning. Not to mention all sorts of nasty aches due to an impromptue kick about with Pine and co. on Sunday, exercise can be nasty if you don't do much of it! We all know the solution...
08/07/00 Well our cockney friend from New York has reminded me that I haven't been bothering to update my message of the day. Oh yes, so I haven't!!! Well, thats partly because there is little happening right now. I am currently having fun trying to do a database for fantasy football league stoof. Aint that nice of me. Oh yes, what kind of a name is venus anyway??
04/07/00 Oh well so I am home, and I need a job, fast. I am paying phone money so don't have too much time to sit around! Bye...
30/06/00 Seems many people are leaving Durham, from traffic volumes. Not long to go here really.
29/06/00 Well today is registration day. Oh woohoo. And another Euro 2000 semi, following my gallic cousin's marvellous win of yesterday. Soooo, errr, time to register I think. When those stupid qs disappear. Rightyo.
28/06/00 Today is what we call a boring day, a kind of limbo between finding out poor results and registering. So that is why I am sitting at this computer having nothing better to do than write out a new message of the day. But don't worry, I will soon be home for good and probably job hunting, so I will stop bothering to update the darned thing. Which makes life a whole lot easier really.
27/06/00 Well all results are in, and I did, to be frank, poo, but well that is all for another 3 months in terms of work now so I'd betta forget about it. Now for finding a job, oh waheey I can't wait. Can't bloody wait.
26/06/00 Hmm half way through the results and its pretty bad as expected, I very nearly managed to fail but not quite. Need some good news tomorrow please. Cuth's day, well, how is it whenever anything good happens I can never remember it the next day? But it souded like a lot of fun anyway. Summer is nearly upon us for good, woohay.
23/06/00 Right.. should I go to the meeting on teaching, or can I really be arsed?? Oh I guess there is nothing to lose. Very little happening right now. Oh, our bog is broken I guess thats one exciting event. But... hmm, Cuth's day tomorrow, we will see I suppose.
22/06/00 Oh well. I will be in Durham next year come what may I'm sorry to say folks. Now just a wait until Monday for the dreaded rezultz. Also, footy fixtures r at large today. Nice easy win over smoggies to start for the skyblues. ?? yeahright... oh well
21/06/00 Yet another dull prize thing, this time for organisation. So it ought really to be me I guess. Oh, and England are out. Oh well. Really there is very little happening at the moment, just a big gaping gap before exam results arrive in ernest. Wahey.
19/06/00 Back in Durham then, and ready to rock n roll with the IBM prize (that of course will not go to seg 8). Oh well a very fun ceremony then. By the way England are still going out! (c'mon send me abuse, I dare ya!) oh sod it
14/06/00 Howdy, I'm outa this town for a while, back home to the beautifal city of Coventry for an interview. Well, yep. This period is the examy limbo period, so there's little to say really.
12/06/00 God, this headache is beginning to really piss me off. Meeting had thismorning on module choices (FUN). Goin home later this week (NOT THAT FUN). England play tonite (interesting), but you wait us krauts will crush you on Saturday.
10/06/00 Another interestingly written motd at an interesting time. It is 5am, that is right 5 bloody am!!!! I have just drunk strawberry sunny delight, it is really shite. (whoah a rhyme dudes). Oh fun. Well I will soon sleep, up after 100 today in all probability (aaarghh stats aaargh)
09/06/00 So, exams are finished. For good. Will I be here next year? Dunno, the maths ones have gone like poo. Hmm, guess I ought to be relieved, but.... god I am annoyed about stats etc. Beginning to think I should've just done a doss subject like computer science now. yep.
06/06/00 Numerical, hmmmm, well thats over now no matter how badly it went. Now there is all this darned robotics and ai and (noooo) fp stuff to contend with. In 1.5 hours! Oh well, it'll all be over one way or t'other soon.
05/06/00 OOer Numerical Anlalysis. Says it all really. Oh sh*t, lordy lord please help me!!
03/06/00 Right, exam is getting very imminent. Its probably a mistake trying to do matlab, but matlab is what I am trying to do so I will sign off here and now.
01/06/00 Oh dear its numerical before too long. Backs to the walls now, in theory at least. Ohmygod I don't know. Who does?? Grrr I hate stupid electricity companies dorrrrr
29/05/00 Well we have a clean house, thanks more to me than I am given credit for.. but you wait it will be messed up again before you know it and I bet I won't be all that responsible!! Also, it seems that piney thinks his salt of the earth political views are unquestionable. Well yak let me tell you mister diva-liker, you are very wrong.
28/05/00 Its Sunday. Must work. Quin, sorry about the mobile thing. Kieron, hope you are still alive. I had a coffee. I feel weird. Oh gorrrd. dorrrr
27/05/00 Sorry if there aint been a motd for a while, I was thinking about exams. Anyway, looks like another season in div 3 next year, my last here. Dorrrrrrr I can't think of anything else to say to be honest. Bye bye
24/05/00 Check out that evil bastard piney at http://www.dur.ac.uk/~d82cty and vote for b... you know you want to!!! Right more software engineering research to be done. Honest!!
23/05/00 Oh well so that is it I failed complex. And now I have to research some very very boring stuff on software engineering and stuff. Oh life really doesn't get much better does it??
22/05/00 Uh-oh. Complex imminent! AAAAAAARrrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ohmygod I hate exams. Hate them. Hate them. noooooooooooooo this is the end my friend. dorrrr
19/05/00 Ha! Got there early today, as it is the small hours (1.49am to be precise). Shouldn't I be getting sleep in, ready for the big glut of exams? Oh yes indeedy, but ya know theres somethin called a legacy and it sux big time. Well that is over. Now I must go home for some tea (I'm being genuine here, about to have my main evening meal for the 18th, don't call me f*cked up pleeeeaasseeee...). God hildbede can be a depressin place. makes ya wonder...
18/05/00 Soz about the lack of message yesterday, it was a hectic day of sitting in working when I wasn't watching Darlo get through to Wembley... thats also my plans for the rest of today, only a couple of revision lectures left now and then it is the dreaded er... exams!!!! Helllppppp
16/05/00 Aha, it is Tuesday and there is a SEG practical approaching, that means doing some Legacy. No, I really mean it, I need to... Oh and by the way, people who keep doctoring/spoofing etc this wonderful webpage, just consider that you simply cannot come close to remotely touching the original. Oh no. And can we have some networking please dearest ITS, it is getting extremely tiresome and irksome not being able to look at the dear old internet...
15/05/00 Well, I guess I have plenty of time to write this crap today as the darned network is down again, and has been since Saturday, which is pretty farcical really. It means I have to sit at a computer without web surfing capabilities! How can I possibly survive? Oh yes, after an epic Saturday involving revision and Darlington's olde library, the Darlo is off to Wemberley... well should be anyway. (not that I'll be going). Wow, this could be a record in terms of length of my message, and all on a day when the worldwide audience cannot even access the darned site... Irony, eh??
12/05/00 Hmm, I don't like the way time to exams is getting so, er, nonexistent (ie a week). After the screenie tomorrow (and of course after Tuesday) it is backs to the wall 24 hour geeking. Geddin there!!
11/05/00 Darned SEG presentation thisafternoon. oh well, its not as if I have to say anything. But I predict it will be boring and way too hot. Maybe I'll give you a long drawn out report on it tomorrow, ya neva know....
10/05/00 Hello, lets hope kieron goes to the poolie tomorrow. Gary says, someone get rid of the scouse f*ck. Ya never know...
09/05/00 It is Tuesday afternoon and I am in a SEG practical sooo dull that I can't believe it has taken me this long to bother writing a new message of the day. Er... yes, presentation coming up in a couple of days, get yer suits out aaaarggghhhh
08/05/00 It is Monday, I need to work and I urgently need to go to Somerfield (not just the turquoise withdrawal symptons either). So, er, thats it folks...
07/05/00 The Darlo aint going up. Oh well, that creates more Poolie fun I guess. And why the f*ck won't the bloody seg3 diary run, I could really do without this as I've just trundled to the science site just to look at it...
04/05/00 A new message before being reminded, yak... me a plagiarist, what a bloody joke! What I need right now is sleep. Stoopid lectures.
03/05/00 It is the easiest day of the week and I have had a lie in, but I still feel tired and sh*t. So, well, thats about all I'm afraid.
02/05/00 Grumpy, senile and old?? Yep that is the theme for today. Its not as if I'm contracted to write these stupid messages anyway. By the way, can anyone remember the one from April immediately before yesterdays? I lost it before I could paste into the archive. Please email me any suggesstions.
01/05/00 Ah well back at good old Durham. Noone mention trains please, I have not been treated too well by them this weekend...what with my first train coming a day too early. Dorr. Righty-ho
{sometime in April} Dorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, I seem to be stuck in a virgin train for 3 hours, dorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
{some other time in April} Something about the weather which I lost...
16/04/00 Aaaargh only 2 more weeks of holiday to go! And it looks like the Darlo next week will be important now!! Altogether now: We're not going up, we'r e not going up, we're not going we're not going we're not going up! But I saw th e mighty skyblues win for the first time in months yesterday so who gives a toss .... George will be off next year I bet...
05/04/00 So, how do human factors affect software production cycle blah blah, yes it is work time! I even did some complex analysis, approach along y=x, not an axis, thats what matters! Sigh....
31/03/00 Brand new message for all you fans... comeon ben, do that work and get out of prison and back to rockshots. waaah I'm wasting money on this phonecall, byaaaaaa
28/03/00 Hello. Still not working as much as I should. And watching rubbish football performances, but hurrah for the Telf. Right, must go and eat!!
22/03/00 Aha the messages are becoming distinctly sporradic now... I haven't done any work yet this holiday but will be soon (bar a trip to the smog), honest....
20/03/00 Well it is, just, and I cannot believe I am bothering to do a message. However I am connected with good old x-stream so at least I am not paying any phone charges...
18/03/00 Last full day in Durham... Darlo still up for the up, and 4-0 to the Skyblues, waheeeeeeeeeey
17/03/00 Wowzer it is the last day of term!! This message thing might fall a bit behind over the hols as my internet access is cut down and no-one bothers to read it anyway.... aaagh work aaagh exams grrrr
16/03/00 I am sick of maths. I cannot do it. Any lazy award I may get is a con. cough cough (yep its back)
14/03/00 I know this ones a bit late, but a general up yours to all those w ho laugh at my page. I will have a stalking order against you, I will.
13/03/00 Jesus, will people realise I am not a lazy bastard, just misunders tood
11/03/00 Fried breakfasts are kind of nice.. and greasy
10/03/00 Merry Easter SEG is over!! (ok its a while but whocares???)
09/03/00 Everyone has seg to do. Even I have little sleep thanks to Will, a nd plan not to tonight. bloody awful.!
08/03/00 The Darlos goin up!!!!
07/03/00: Coffee and chocolate flapjack can take you a long way. But this c omputer screen cannot.
06/03/00: No message for the last couple of days, I've been far too busy al as not working but watching football teams get thrashed, writing stupid notes an d watching pj take off in an ambulance at speed towards good old Dryburn... oh i sn't it fun.
03/03/00: Hey Hey Hey its a week until seg dedline, folks. Happy birthday t o wobblybob and also congratulate me as I've made it to a week without eating fa st food (though I did get some hopelessly greasy chips last night, along with... battered burger, mmmmmmmmmmmm......
02/03/00: "Why on earth is the importance of good head so underrated on this awful planet?" - Ben Brewster 2000
01/03/00: A bit late this one, sorry. Well we are into March at last, and I have done tomorrows complex already, and its only 6.30. Incredible!!!
29/02/00: At least I am bothering to have a message of the day, unlike the ITS who are giving us a very boring blank screen... Also, don't forget today onl y happens once every 400 years, so enjoy it while it lasts.
28/02/00: I like rail tickets when they cost a pound. I don't like getting up at 5 in the morning. Apoligies for lack of message of the day for the last 2 days. Respect.
25/02/00: COUGH COUGH COUGH. ACHOOOOOOO!
24/02/00: I've got a nasty cold and feel like shite, any financial contribu tions welcome!!!
23/02/00: Babe was a cute little sheep who looked a bit like dolly.
22/02/00: Sleeping in tutorials while wearing contact lenses is something t o avoid (end of friendly advice column...)
21/02/00: Hello. I'm going to kick your dorrr down.
19/02/00: Smogborough are a bunch of cheating bastards, weather too bad ind eed... not much else as noone will probably read it today but congrats to Quin a nd 'The Fur Coat'...
18/02/00: Oops, guess its a bit late for putting a message up now, but I ha ven't had a chance earlier and there's nothing valid to put anyway...
17/02/00: Waheey. The lecturer skived maths!!! rrrrrrrrrrrrr
15/02/00: Furious George RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
14/02/00: Fidel Castro is the man!!! (Ann Widdecombe and Stalin weren't tho ugh). PS I hate rain and I hate ice and I hate slush.
13/02/00: Why are Sundays so crap???
11/02/00: SEGWORLD has been shot down. What a darned shame!!!
10/2/00: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, I'm running out of ideas for this message of the day thing already
9/2/00: Numerical Analysis Practicals are very boring!!!
8/2/00: Good Morning To All Fans Of This P age (Moles, Monkies etc....), I Just Inserted A Message Of The Day To Make It More Interesting,Aren't I Kind!!!